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Some people think that it is parents who are responsible for teaching children to be a good member of society. However, some people believe that it is the responsibility of schools and teachers. Who's responsibility do you believe it is? v.1

Some people think that it is parents who are responsible for teaching children to be a good member of society. However, some people believe that it is the responsibility of schools and teachers. Who's responsibility do you believe it is? v. 1
The gaurdians of the children are responsible, along with the teachers, for teaching them to be a good person but they play a major role in doing so, as they are the closest persons to the kids. The teachers play a minor role in this aspect, as their job is to make the children more skilled academically. In this essay, the responsibility of parents to inculcate good values to their children will be discussed. Parents are the ones who can majorly impact the lives of their kids. The reason for this is that, most of the kids spend majority of their time with their families and so, they can discuss with the young ones, in their free time, teaching kids about how to behave well and essentially be a good person by spending some quality time. Moreover, the children learnt their basic skills of how to walk, speak, eat and so on, and therefore the parents should also be good persons, so that they can be serve as examples for their kids. For instance, parents can take their children to an orphanage and donate some clothes or food and ask their chilren to do the same, then later on explain why what they just did was a good deed and why it is important to do such actions. Teachers on the other hand, are needed to teach the children about topics that are related to academics, as that is their job. Thus, they can't really do much about teaching kids on how to be a good member of society. But to an extent, they can discipline them and teach them some good manners and how to conduct themselves in school or in general too. Furthermore, for the young ones to learn on how to be a good human bieng, having intimate one-to-one talks is the most effective way, which is not possible for the teachers to do, as the number of the students, that would attend a school, is quite large. In conclusion, parents are responsible to a large extent, to teach their kids on how to be a good person and a good member of society, as they are most probably the closest ones to them, especially at a very young age. Teachers too play a role, though it's minor, in helping the child to be a better themself.
The
Possible spelling mistake found.
gaurdians
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are responsible, along with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, for teaching them to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they play a major role in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, as they are the closest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
play a minor role in this aspect, as their job is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
more skilled
academically
. In this essay, the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to inculcate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
values to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will
be discussed
.

Parents are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
who can
majorly
impact the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
The reason for this is
that, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
spend majority of their time with their families and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they can discuss with the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
, in their free time, teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
about how to behave well and
essentially
be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
by spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality time.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
their basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of how to walk, speak, eat and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, and
therefore
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
also
be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can be
Consider using a past participle here: "served".
serve
as examples for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to an orphanage and donate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
clothes or food and ask their
Possible spelling mistake found.
chilren
to do the same, then later on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why what they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
did
This form is ambiguous and can be used as past tense. Confirm that you are using the intended base form of the main verb after 'to do' as an auxiliary verb..
was
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
deed and why it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to do such actions.

Teachers
on the other hand
,
are needed
to teach the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about topics that
are related
to academics, as
that is
their job.
Thus
, they can't
really
do much about
After the auxiliary verb 'do', use the base form of a verb. Did you mean "teach"?
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
on how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
to an extent, they can discipline them and teach them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
manners and how to conduct themselves in school or
in general
too.
Furthermore
, for the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
to learn on how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
human
Possible spelling mistake found.
bieng
, having intimate one-to-one talks is the most effective way, which is not possible for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
to do, as the number of the students, that would attend a school, is quite large.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are responsible to a large extent, to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
on how to be a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
member of society, as they are most
probably
the closest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
to them,
especially
at a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
young age.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Teachers
too play a role, though it's minor, in helping the child to be a better
The term is non-standard and not widely accepted.
themself
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
40Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is parents who are responsible for teaching children to be a good member of society. However, some people believe that it is the responsibility of schools and teachers. Who's responsibility do you believe it is? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
390 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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