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In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to find ones history, why are they doing it and is it a positive or negative development? v.1

In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to find ones history, why are they doing it and is it a positive or negative development? v. 1
Exploring about one’s family history is conspicuously rising in many countries around the world and this is done by exploring through genetic database. In my opinion, this process aids to identify one’s cultural heritage and it’s significance which is a very progressive development. Firstly, in todays world people migrate to different countries in search of better opportunities and comfortable living conditions, the process in which they tend to adapt the culture of the migrated countries. In order to identify their roots, they tend to research their family history which not only gives them a better understanding of who they are, also a sense of pride of their cultural identity and the broader aspect of better recognition of their place in this world. Furthermore, knowing about one’s family history can extrapolate their life span and can prescient various medical conditions which will aid them to lead a better life. Also, it can help them find if there are any skills or crafts that their earlier generations have specialized on which could be passed to the future generations. For example, their ancestors could have possessed skills about trading, music or business acumen which they can now associate with and can continue towards assiduously building such skills which will could yield positive development and reinforce their identity in the society. Also, it helps families to make decisions which they were initially uncertain about before knowing their history. This will give people a sense of satisfaction and relief to know how their previous generations have made certain essential decisions while leading their lives. To conclude, knowing about one’s history not only gives them a better understanding of who they are, but reinforces their cultural heritage and their place in the society which is a very positive development which is taking place across various countries around the world.
Exploring about one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
is
conspicuously
rising in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and this
is done
by exploring through genetic database. In my opinion, this process aids to identify one’s cultural heritage and it’s significance which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
progressive development.

Firstly
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
migrate to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in search of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
opportunities and comfortable living conditions, the process in which they tend to adapt the culture of the migrated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In order to identify their roots, they tend to research their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gives them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
understanding of who they are,
also
a sense of pride of their cultural identity and the broader aspect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
recognition of their place in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
Furthermore
, knowing about one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
can extrapolate their life span and can prescient various medical conditions which will aid them to lead a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
life.

Also
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them find if there are any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or crafts that their earlier generations have specialized on which could
be passed
to the future generations.
For example
, their ancestors could have possessed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
about trading, music or business acumen which they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
associate with and can continue towards
assiduously
building such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which will could yield
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development and reinforce their identity in the society.
Also
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decisions which they were
initially
uncertain about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
knowing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
. This will give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a sense of satisfaction and relief to know how their previous generations have made certain essential decisions while leading their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

To conclude
, knowing about one’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
history
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gives them a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
understanding of who they are,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
reinforces their cultural heritage and their place in the society which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development which is taking place across various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to find ones history, why are they doing it and is it a positive or negative development? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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