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Some people think that parents should be responsible for teaching children how to be good members of society. However, other people believe that school is the place for children to learn how to be good members of society. v.3

Some people think that parents should be responsible for teaching children how to be good members of society. However, other people believe that school is the place for children to learn how to be good members of society. v. 3
Moving towards the 21st century, many people are nowadays expressing a deeply growing concern about the role of parents and school in children’s development. Some hold firmly to their belief that parents play a vital role in educating children on how to be useful members of society. However, others argue convincingly that schools should take the responsibility of teaching children how to be useful members of society. Therefore, some arguments both for and against this issue will be addressed in the following paragraphs. To begin with, there are two main points for people to defend the former argument that parents have a significant contribution to the development of children in society. First of all, it is a well-documented fact that parents are considered to be the first teacher for their kids. Thus they have significant influences on the development of children. The most obvious example to prove is that parents should teach children the correct moral behaviors, such as how to show their respect to older people or how to communicate with others effectively. Furthermore, there is no doubt that children can learn from what their parents do, so they can learn a valuable lesson that “they get what they pay for”. For instance, parents should follow traffic rules and save the environment by reducing the use of plastic bags. On the other hand, there are two primary pieces of evidence for people to support the latter argument that school is the place for children to learn how to be useful members of society. First and foremost, it is commonly accepted that the role of educating is to prepare the contemporary world for children so that schools should not only teach academic subjects but also provide them with soft skills. A clear example is found to prove is that communication, problem-solving and teamwork skills are well-known to be the three most essential skills for the kids to be familiar with real contexts in their future life. Equally important, there is no denying that children need to try their best to get high academic achievements, so they should be aware of the crucial lesson from what they perform with their studies in their lecture. This issue is supported by the fact that schools should be building a measure to monitor the children’s attempts over time. All things considered, it is my firm belief that parents and school contribute significantly to the development of children in their future. Accordingly, I strongly recommend that governments should enhance people’s awareness in terms of the crucial role of school and parents in children’s life. If this recommendation is carried out, the comprehensive developments of our future generations will be ensured.
Moving towards the 21st century,
many
people
are nowadays expressing a
deeply
growing concern about the
role
of
parents
and
school
in
children’s
development
.
Some
hold
firmly
to their belief that
parents
play a vital
role
in educating
children
on how to be useful members of
society
.
However
, others argue
convincingly
that
schools
should take the responsibility of teaching
children
how to be useful members of
society
.
Therefore
,
some
arguments both for and against this issue will
be addressed
in the following paragraphs.

To
begin
with, there are two main points for
people
to defend the former argument that
parents
have a significant contribution to the
development
of
children
in
society
.
First of all
, it is a well-documented fact that
parents
are considered
to be the
first
teacher for their kids.
Thus
they have significant influences on the
development
of
children
. The most obvious example to prove is that
parents
should teach
children
the correct moral behaviors, such as how to
show
their respect to older
people
or how to communicate with others
effectively
.
Furthermore
, there is no doubt that
children
can learn from what their
parents
do,
so
they can learn a valuable lesson that “they
get
what they pay for”.
For instance
,
parents
should follow traffic
rules
and save the environment by reducing the
use
of plastic bags.

On the other hand
, there are two primary pieces of evidence for
people
to support the latter argument that
school
is the place for
children
to learn how to be useful members of
society
.
First
and foremost, it is
commonly
accepted
that the
role
of educating is to prepare the contemporary world for
children
so
that
schools
should not
only
teach academic subjects
but
also
provide them with soft
skills
. A
clear
example
is found
to prove is that communication, problem-solving and teamwork
skills
are well-known to be the three most essential
skills
for the kids to be familiar with real contexts in their future life.
Equally
important
, there is no denying that
children
need to try their best to
get
high academic achievements,
so
they should be aware of the crucial lesson from what they perform with their studies in their lecture. This issue
is supported
by the fact that
schools
should be building a measure to monitor the
children’s
attempts over time.

All things considered, it is my firm belief that
parents
and
school
contribute
significantly
to the
development
of
children
in their future.
Accordingly
, I
strongly
recommend that
governments
should enhance
people’s
awareness in terms of the crucial
role
of
school
and
parents
in
children’s
life. If this recommendation
is carried
out, the comprehensive
developments
of our future generations will
be ensured
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
47Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Some people think that parents should be responsible for teaching children how to be good members of society. However, other people believe that school is the place for children to learn how to be good members of society. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
445 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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