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Some people think that it is necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. Others say that books, films, and the internet can be used as a source of information about different cultures. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion v.4

Some people think that it is necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. Others say that books, films, and the internet can be used as a source of information about different cultures. Give your opinion v. 4
People have different views about how to explore other cultures most effectively. While some people suppose that books, films, and the internet are good sources of cultural knowledge, I agree with the idea of traveling to countries to have a deeper feeling about their customs. The means of media, to a certain extent, play a significant role in providing information about the other countries to people. For example, the children are taught geography at schools through textbooks to know about the location, language, and culture of each nation in the world. On social networks such as Facebook or Instagram, there appear several short videos to encourage tourism which introduce briefly the destination that attracting viewers by the natural beauty and local inhabitants’ life. Furthermore, the media seems to be the only way for the people who do not have enough money to travel around the world to be aware of the other cultures, hence behaving more appropriate when meeting foreigners. However, I believe that staying at home cannot provide enough information if people want to acquire comprehensive and profound knowledge about a foreign country. Indeed, a number of linguistic and cultural professors have to live abroad for years in order to get acquainted with the environment and customs there. Although some people claim that traveling through television is as exciting as arriving in countries, it still does not bring delectation like when setting foot on those places. Many explorers, for instance, are willing to pay a great amount of money to live in the mountainous areas with aboriginals and go hunting with them, which is experiences that are hard to have twice In conclusion, I strongly believe that if people love to discover a new culture, it is recommended to visit that country and immerse themselves in local people’s daily activities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about how to explore other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
most
effectively
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suppose that books, films, and the internet are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sources of cultural knowledge, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to have a deeper feeling about their customs.

The means of media, to a certain extent, play a significant role in providing information about the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, the children
are taught
geography at schools through textbooks to know about the location, language, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
of each nation in the world. On social networks such as Facebook or Instagram, there appear several short videos to encourage tourism which introduce
briefly
the destination that attracting viewers by the natural beauty and local inhabitants’ life.
Furthermore
, the media seems to be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to travel around the world to be aware of the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
,
hence
behaving more appropriate when meeting foreigners.

However
, I believe that staying at home cannot provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
information if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to acquire comprehensive and profound knowledge about a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Indeed
, a number of linguistic and cultural professors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
abroad for years in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
acquainted with the environment and customs there. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that traveling through television is as exciting as arriving in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it
still
does not bring delectation like when setting foot on those places.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
explorers,
for instance
, are willing to pay a great amount of money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the mountainous areas with aboriginals and go hunting with them, which is experiences that are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to have
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
twice


In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to discover a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, it
is recommended
to visit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and immerse themselves in local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
daily activities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. Others say that books, films, and the internet can be used as a source of information about different cultures. Give your opinion v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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