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It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. You can learn just as much from books, films, and the Internet. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. You can learn just as much from books, films, and the Internet. v. 1
It is sometimes argued that it is possible to acquire knowledge about different cultures without even leaving one’s own apartment. It can be done by reading, watching movies or just surfing the net instead. I cannot but disagree with this view as I believe that the best way to learn is by experience. Travelling adds a special flavour to the learning process as it provides tourists with their own unique experience and memories. It is well-known that people’s perception of reality may vary from one individual to another, what seems to be fascinating or important for some, has no or completely opposite meaning to others, so it is often better to see inhabitants’ reality with your own eyes and make your own decisions. To illustrate this point, only by actually visiting other places people can try exotic cuisines, experience locals’ hospitality, as well as hear different dialects and become familiar with special customs and rituals. One more reason against modern substitutions for travelling is that these do not always contain correct and full information. What can be found in the publications and in the media are often subjective opinions and feelings, somebody else’s experience. This is for the reason that there is often exists a certain level of artistic licence. Hence, if people are not able to separate real facts from the author’s imagination, they will be misled by incorrect views and stereotypes about other cultures. For instance, some of those who have never been to Russia, but read articles about it, believe that its citizens consume vodka as their everyday routine, that is far from the truth. It is therefore my belief that travelling around the world is the only golden opportunity to gain knowledge about other cultures due to the fact that it provides individuals with their own experience, not just with facts or, even worse, stereotypes.
It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
argued that it is possible to acquire knowledge about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures without even leaving one’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
apartment. It can
be done
by reading, watching movies or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
surfing the net
instead
. I cannot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
disagree with this view as I believe that the best way to learn is by experience.

Travelling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
a special
Possible spelling mistake. 'flavour' is British English.
flavour
to the learning process as it provides tourists with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
unique
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
and memories. It is well-known that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s perception of reality may vary from one individual to another, what seems to be fascinating or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, has
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
or completely opposite meaning to others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
inhabitants’ reality with your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
eyes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
decisions. To illustrate this point,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by actually visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
places
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can try exotic cuisines,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
locals’ hospitality,
as well
as hear
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
dialects and become familiar with special customs and rituals.

One more reason against modern substitutions for travelling is that these do not always contain correct and full information. What can
be found
in the publications and in the media are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
subjective opinions and feelings, somebody else’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. This is for the reason that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
exists a certain level of artistic
Possible spelling mistake. 'licence' is British English.
licence
.
Hence
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are not able to separate real facts from the author’s imagination, they will
be misled
by incorrect views and stereotypes about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of those who have never been to Russia,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
read articles about it, believe that its citizens consume vodka as their everyday routine,
that is
far from the truth.

It is
therefore
my belief that travelling around the world is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
golden opportunity to gain knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures due to the fact that it provides individuals with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
with facts or, even worse, stereotypes.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay It is not necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures of other people. You can learn just as much from books, films, and the Internet. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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