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Some people think that it is necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. Others say that books, films and the Internet can be used as a source of information about different cultures. v.3

Some people think that it is necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. Others say that books, films and the Internet can be used as a source of information about different cultures. v. 3
We live in a multifaceted society that has its own cultural and traditional values. Traditions that vary from place to place are unique in their own form. These norms and distinctive cultural values attract people to visit different places in order to learn more which is laudable, but others believe that we live in a digital world know where all the information is available through paper and print media then there is no point to visit those places physically. This essay will analyse both viewpoints to understand their merits before presenting an opinion. People believe that culture can be best understood when one physically visit that place. Proponents of this viewpoint argue that films and books do not cover all the aspects and often shows only positive attributes and customs of a place. Cultural values and traditions are best analysed when we live with them and participate in their festivals, religious gatherings, weddings and other events. Moreover, they say that books and the internet give us limited information and physical presence in instrumental to observe and understand their emotion, feelings, sentiments and so on showcased during different occasions. For instance, Malay culture is rich in folk music, artworks, poetry, festivals and so on which we usually see in different videos, but there are some hidden traits like their disliking for non-Malay which is not mentioned in any book or shown in films. Furthermore, one can truly admire and appreciate culture when they mingle with them. On the contrary, others believe that one can easily learn the traditions and cultural norms through different documentary movies, historical books or through the digital contents available over the internet. They say that books written over different cultures were written by authors that visited those places or heard about them from other. Moreover, the internet is a massive repository of digital content in the form of textual and visual information which is instrumental in learning various cultures without the need to travel. For instance, Indian culture got popular in western countries due to different Bollywood movies revealing the customs and way of living of people residing in different cities like Gujarat, Rajhistan, Kashmir and so on. Furthermore, documentary videos and movies are a good source of information as they cover different aspects of a culture in visual form and one gets absorbed in it while watching. To recapitulate, the aforementioned provides plausible arguments over both view point. However, I personally believe that one should travel to explore and kerb their passion for learning different cultures as physical presence cannot match the virtual information.
We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a multifaceted society that has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
and traditional values. Traditions that vary from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
are unique in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
form. These norms and distinctive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
values attract
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
in order to learn more which is laudable,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a digital world know where all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is available through paper and print media then there is no point to visit those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
physically
. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both viewpoints to understand their merits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
presenting an opinion.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
can be best understood when one
physically
visit that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. Proponents of this viewpoint argue that films and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
do not cover all the aspects and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
attributes and customs of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Cultural
values and traditions are best
Possible spelling mistake. 'analysed' is British English.
analysed
when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with them and participate in their festivals, religious gatherings, weddings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
Moreover
, they say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
and the internet give us limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and physical presence in instrumental to observe and understand their emotion, feelings, sentiments and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on showcased during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
occasions.
For instance
, Malay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
is rich in folk music, artworks, poetry, festivals and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which we
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
videos,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hidden traits like their disliking for non-Malay which is not mentioned in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
or shown in films.
Furthermore
, one can
truly
admire and appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
when they mingle with them.

On the contrary
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that one can
easily
learn the traditions and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultural
norms through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
documentary movies, historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
or through the digital contents available over the internet. They say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
written over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
were written
by authors that visited those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
or heard about them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Moreover
, the internet is a massive repository of digital content in the form of textual and visual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which is instrumental in learning various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
without the need to travel.
For instance
, Indian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
popular in western countries due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
Bollywood movies revealing the customs and way of living of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
residing in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
cities like Gujarat,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rajhistan
, Kashmir and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Furthermore
, documentary videos and movies are a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
source of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
as they cover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
aspects of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
in visual form and one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
absorbed in it while watching.

To recapitulate, the aforementioned provides plausible arguments over both view point.
However
, I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that one should travel to explore and
Possible spelling mistake. 'kerb' is British English.
kerb
their passion for learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
as physical presence cannot match the virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is necessary to travel to other places to learn about other cultures. Others say that books, films and the Internet can be used as a source of information about different cultures. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
428 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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