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Average life span of the human in many developing countries is increasing. Is this is a positive or negative development? Will this increased life expectancy have any social and personal issue? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations. v.2

Average life span of the human in many developing countries is increasing. Is this is a positive or negative development? Will this increased life expectancy have any social and personal issue? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations. v. 2
Since the dawn of time, the average life expectancy is increasing. This is evidence in the developing countries such as in Australia, United States of America and in England. As result of this trend, problems such as family conflicts and elderly antisocial acts will also arise. However, in every problem, there is always a solution, and to counter these negative impacts for individuals and to society perhaps treat elderly with respect and love as well as give them some certain task. For one, as there is an increasing of ageing population, they tend to stay and live with their working children in one home in which misunderstanding may arise between the two. For instance, Filipino adults who are working and migrated in a developed country like Australia sponsored their old parents to live with them in that rich nation. But because these busy adults are always at work, he sometimes forgets his parents, and these elderly parents will feel disregarded and neglected that might result to more serious confrontations and conflicts. It is because sometimes an argument is unavoidable when living with children having their own family. In addition to this, as these old people will feel unwanted and disregarded by their children, they may sometimes do negative acts towards their children and other people in their surroundings. For example, they may become agitated and always angry and might hurt their grandchildren at home. They may also go leave the house and do harmful things to other people in the community. This situation is common in the United States of America, according to the Psychiatric Nursing 4th edition book by Sheila L. Videbeck. In conclusion, as the ageing population grows, family misunderstanding will also incline and more and more elderly will engage in antisocial acts. However, we working adults can manage these problems by giving them the respect and love they deserve such as acknowledging their presence and giving them gifts in their special occasions like birthdays, mother's day or father's day. Also give them some task at home like babysitting their grandchildren or driving them and picking them up at their school. With these tasks, they will surely feel wanted and valued, and such acts will be avoided.
Since the dawn of time, the average life expectancy is increasing. This is evidence in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
such as in Australia, United States of America and in England. As result of this trend, problems such as family conflicts and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
antisocial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
will
also
arise.
However
, in every problem, there is always a solution, and to counter these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts for individuals and to society perhaps treat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
with respect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
as well
as give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
certain task.

For one, as there is an increasing of
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
population, they tend to stay and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with their working
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in one home in which misunderstanding may arise between the two.
For instance
, Filipino adults who are working and migrated in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed country
like Australia sponsored their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with them in that rich nation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these busy adults are always at work, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
forgets his parents, and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
parents will feel disregarded and neglected that might result to more serious confrontations and conflicts. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
an argument is unavoidable when living with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
having their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
family.

In addition
to this, as these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will feel unwanted and disregarded by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
towards their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in their surroundings.
For example
, they may become agitated and always angry and might hurt their grandchildren at home. They may
also
go
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and do harmful things to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the community. This situation is common in the United States of America, according to the Psychiatric Nursing 4th edition book by Sheila L.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Videbeck
.

In conclusion
, as the
Possible spelling mistake. 'ageing' is British English.
ageing
population grows, family misunderstanding will
also
incline and more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elderly
will engage in antisocial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
.
However
,
Did you mean "we're working", "we are working", or "we were working"?
we working
adults can manage these problems by giving them the respect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
they deserve such as acknowledging their presence and giving them gifts in their special occasions like birthdays,
Capitalize holidays.
mother's day
or
Capitalize holidays.
father's day
.
Also
give them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
task at home like babysitting their grandchildren or driving them and picking them up at their school. With these tasks, they will
surely
feel wanted and valued, and such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
acts
will
be avoided
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Average life span of the human in many developing countries is increasing. Is this is a positive or negative development? Will this increased life expectancy have any social and personal issue? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
369 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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