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Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.5

Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the internet. v. 5
The discussion whether people should visit foreign countries in order to enhance the knowledge about them or use the advanced technology raises a thorny question. Although the benefits of the digital resources ought to be approved, I would argue that exploring a country physically is vital for getting detailed insights. It is assumed by some that the option to follow the advanced technology might be beneficial for a range of reasons. Firstly, it is considered a waste of money to expend the budget on travelling as the internet network provides the viewers with a free access. That is to say that, people can easily find out any desired facts just by clicking the buttons. Furthermore, the limited period of the vacations might not be sufficient to get the comprehensive insights. As some employees are generally permitted to take a short vacation annually, they are not likely to get efficient facts. Consequently, the online resources are able to fill the gaps of the travelling. However, others, including me, are in favour of the fact that several things cannot be witnessed by the use of TV or internet. To begin with, the feel of the atmosphere and the taste of local foods are good examples of it. Thus, the videos on the internet are mostly based on subjective ideas which might oppose the others. So that, some travellers are inclined to be against the shared feedbacks since they explore the facts by themselves. Another pivotal advantage is that people are more likely to remember what they have seen. For example, after living in Turkey for a month, I learnt the history of it better by considering the visited museums. In conclusion, while some claim that visiting countries is not must in terms of improving the outlook, I would deem that the experience of physical travel cannot be replaced.
The discussion whether
people
should visit foreign countries in order to enhance the knowledge about them or
use
the advanced technology raises a thorny question. Although the benefits of the digital resources ought to
be approved
, I would argue that exploring a country
physically
is vital for getting detailed insights.

It
is assumed
by
some
that the option to follow the advanced technology might be beneficial for a range of reasons.
Firstly
, it
is considered
a waste of money to expend the budget on travelling as the internet network provides the viewers with
a free access
.
That is
to say that,
people
can
easily
find out any desired facts
just
by clicking the buttons.
Furthermore
, the limited period of the vacations might not be sufficient to
get
the comprehensive insights. As
some
employees are
generally
permitted to take a short vacation
annually
, they are not likely to
get
efficient facts.
Consequently
, the online resources are able to
fill the gaps of
the travelling.

However
, others, including me, are in
favour
of the
fact
that several things cannot
be witnessed
by the
use
of TV or internet. To
begin
with, the feel of the atmosphere and the taste of local foods are
good
examples of it.
Thus
, the videos on the internet are
mostly
based on subjective
ideas
which might oppose the others.
So
that,
some
travellers
are inclined
to be against the shared feedbacks since they explore the facts by themselves. Another pivotal advantage is that
people
are more likely to remember what they have
seen
.
For example
, after living in Turkey for a month, I
learnt
the history of it better by considering the visited museums.

In conclusion
, while
some
claim that visiting countries is not
must
in terms of improving the outlook, I would deem that the experience of physical travel cannot
be replaced
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the internet. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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