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Not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society? v.1

Not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society? v. 1
It is irrefutable that, nowadays, only a handful of students are interested in opting for science subjects for their tertiary education. This essay will discuss various reasons of this drift and its effect on the society. As these subjects require a high intellect level, are quite challenging and requires an extra effort to learn them, many average students do not consider pursuing them in future. They just try to get through science lessons till they are a compulsion, and opt out whenever they get the first chance to do so. Additionally, the structure of university teaching related to Science is quite feudal, and as a result, juveniles easily lose interest in these subjects. Owing to the emphasis given to the theoretical knowledge rather than practical, students finds these subjects quiet monotonous. A recent research conducted by the Cambridge University concluded that, many students do not consider a career in science stream because they feel that the lectures are boring and difficult to cope with. Owing to the current trend, the world will soon witness scarcity of young new researchers and doctors, and consequently, now new discoveries would be done in these streams. For instance, if a global pandemic break out in the coming future, we would require scientists, doctors and researchers for various reasons. Doctors would be needed to cure people and the scientists to find the vaccine of the deadly disease. If no one would be interested in studying science, we will see a downfall of such professions, and if, anytime in the future, such situation would occur, it would be difficult to cope, and ultimately the world would end. In conclusion, pupils are not interested in studying the concepts of science because many theories are quite complicated and tricky for many of them to understand. Moreover, the teachers also give more emphasis on theoretical knowledge than practical. If this trend continues, there would be less scientist and doctors, which would be a great problem for the entire world.
It is irrefutable that, nowadays,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a handful of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'are' is not always incorrect.)
are
interested in opting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for their tertiary education. This essay will discuss various reasons of this drift and its effect on the society.

As these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
require a high intellect level, are quite challenging and requires an extra effort to learn them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not consider pursuing them
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
lessons till they are a compulsion, and opt out whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
first
chance to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
Additionally
, the structure of university teaching related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Science
is quite feudal, and
as a result
, juveniles
easily
lose interest in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Owing to the emphasis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the theoretical knowledge
rather
than practical,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
finds these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
quiet monotonous. A recent research conducted by the Cambridge University concluded that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
do not consider a career in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
stream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they feel that the lectures are boring and difficult to cope with.

Owing to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend, the world will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
witness scarcity of young new researchers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
, and
consequently
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
new discoveries would
be done
in these streams.
For instance
, if a global pandemic break out in the coming future, we would require scientists,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
and researchers for various reasons.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Doctors
would
be needed
to cure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and the scientists to find the vaccine of the deadly disease. If no one would
be interested
in studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a downfall of such professions, and if, anytime in the future, such situation would occur, it would be difficult to cope, and
ultimately
the world would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
.

In conclusion
, pupils are not interested in studying the concepts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
theories are quite complicated and tricky for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them to understand.
Moreover
, the teachers
also
give more emphasis on theoretical knowledge than practical. If this trend continues, there would be less scientist and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doctors
, which would be a great problem for the entire world.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Not enough students choose science subjects in university in many countries. What are the reasons for this problem? What are the effects on society? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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