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Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the internet. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.4

Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the internet. v. 4
It is, of course, important to obtain knowledge about other nations. Some people of particular interest mostly travel overseas to educate themselves, however, others believe that a better understanding can be gained even via information available online and on television. This essay will include the relevant views and my opinion about both the statements. Undoubtedly, time spent in abroad can surely provide quite credible and authentic cultural experience. It is seen that those who fly to other countries are more confident about their expertise. Because they have visualised every possible moment. I believe that the true nature of a place can only be deeply felt and understood when an individual physically lives it. For instance, a majority of the journalists consider spending time in a native country about which he wishes to write about, so the ideas pertinent to the subject flow in their mind naturally. Therefore, there is no harm in having a tour away from home to grasp the crucial details. On the other hand, abundant amount of resources is readily accessible on the internet to all the age groups are cost effective. It is true that websites available to the users barely involve any money relatively. Moreover, shows, news and movies for the displayed for the purpose of entertainment do bring the actual sense of a particular place to build connection. Nonetheless, I think that though it is cost efficient and loaded with information, it is still not very reliable. Especially, for the one who has a keen desire to learn more about a particular area. In a nutshell, most of the human beings choose to rely upon the sources they have in their vicinity due to affordability and financial crunches. I reckon that every mankind who strongly relishes non-native tradition and customs would never deny international travel unless they have some personal issue or probably too lethargic to go on a trip.
It is,
of course
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to obtain knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of particular interest
mostly
travel overseas to educate themselves,
however
, others believe that a better understanding can
be gained
even via information available online and on television. This essay will include the relevant views and my opinion about both the statements.

Undoubtedly
, time spent in abroad can
surely
provide quite credible and authentic cultural experience. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that those who
fly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries are more confident about their expertise.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
they have
Possible spelling mistake. 'visualised' is British English.
visualised
every possible moment. I believe that the true nature of a place can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
deeply
felt and understood when an individual
physically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
it.
For instance
, a majority of the journalists consider spending time in a native country about which he wishes to write about,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
pertinent to the subject flow in their mind
naturally
.
Therefore
, there is no harm in having a tour away from home to grasp the crucial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, abundant amount of resources is
readily
accessible on the internet to all the age groups
are cost
effective. It is true that websites available to the users
barely
involve any money
relatively
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
, news and movies for the displayed for the purpose of entertainment do bring the actual sense of a particular place to build connection. Nonetheless, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that though it is
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
cost efficient
and loaded with information, it is
still
not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
reliable.
Especially
, for the one who has a keen desire to learn more about a particular area.

In a nutshell, most of the human beings choose to rely upon the sources they have in their vicinity due to affordability and financial crunches. I reckon that every mankind who
strongly
relishes non-native tradition and customs would never deny international travel unless they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
personal issue or
probably
too lethargic to go on a trip.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people think that it is necessary to travel abroad to learn about other countries, but others think that it is not necessary to travel abroad because all the information can be seen on TV and the internet. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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