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Some people think that it is more important to plant more trees in open area which in towns and cities than build more housing. To what extent do agree or disagree? v.2

Some people think that it is more important to plant more trees in open area which in towns and cities than build more housing. v. 2
It is a heated topic about how to balance between the green areas and construction in urban areas. Some folks argue that more trees plant in open space is more important than construct more buildings in urban areas. Personally, although I agree that trees are necessary for cities and towns, housing is played an important role in such areas. To begin with, more trees are cultivated in urban areas is beneficial to city dwells in several ways. More tree shade is created if plant more trees in open space, which not only beauty the city but also decrease the city’s temperature in a way. These will encourage city residents to spend more time out of their home and do physical activities under this comfortable atmosphere. Besides, urban air pollution will also benefit from these planting. According to the study from scientists that tree leaves are perfect absorber which especially effects to carbon dioxide and dust. On the other hand, to take sustainable development in city society in order to promote economic prosperity, the importance of housing cannot be ignored. Affordable housing is one of the living standards among the public. Less housing supply will increase the apartment price which leads to more people to become homeless. Additional, community safety may suffer from the increasing number of homeless result in the rising crime rate. Furthermore, economic development may suffer if only a few building in the CBD area. Less shopping mall, bank, restaurant or other shops will not only impact the financial running but also affect people’ s daily life. Thus, to construct more construction in urban areas is an obvious fact. In conclusion, it seems like a nice shift to plant more trees or green plants in a city and a town will benefit to people’s health; however, housing also affects people’s lives in many ways particular in CBD area. From the view of my point, I agree with more construction should be build and the importance of how to balance the trees and buildings to make a better living and working environment.
It is a heated topic about how to balance between the green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and construction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
folks argue that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
in open space is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than construct more buildings in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
Personally
, although I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
are necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and towns, housing
is played
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in such areas.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
are cultivated
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is beneficial to city dwells in several ways. More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tree
shade
is created
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
in open space, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beauty the city
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
decrease the city’s temperature in a way. These will encourage city residents to spend more time out of their home and do physical activities under this comfortable atmosphere.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
air pollution will
also
benefit from these planting. According to the study from scientists that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tree
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
are perfect absorber which
especially
effects to carbon dioxide and dust.

On the other hand
, to take sustainable development in city society in order to promote economic prosperity, the importance of housing cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. Affordable housing is one of the living standards among the public. Less housing supply will increase the apartment price which leads to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to become homeless. Additional, community safety may suffer from the increasing number of homeless result in the rising crime rate.
Furthermore
, economic development may suffer if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a few building in the CBD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. Less shopping mall, bank, restaurant or other shops will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
impact the financial running
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’
s daily life.
Thus
, to construct more construction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is an obvious fact.

In conclusion
, it seems like a nice shift to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plant
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
or green
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plants
in a city and a town will benefit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health;
however
, housing
also
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways particular in CBD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
. From the view of my point, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with more construction should be build and the importance of how to balance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trees
and buildings to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better living and working environment.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more important to plant more trees in open area which in towns and cities than build more housing. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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