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Some people think that it is more important lo plant trees in open areas of towns and cities than to build more housing. to what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people think that it is more important lo plant trees in open areas of towns and cities than to build more housing. v. 1
It is an undeniable fact that technology plays a vital role in people’s whole lives, especially in academic life. In this context, some people believe that in today’s world, technology provides more and faster learning for students. In my opinion, that statement is definitively correct for some reasons. In the following paragraphs, I will try to explain why technology has an important role in students’ educational lives. First of all; as it is a clear fact from above, technology has greatly expanded access to education and makes all information easily accessible for students. That’s to say; with the help of the Internet, students can easily find any materials and information which can help them to do research or projects. For example, Wikipedia is the most popular website for the students and it is of great importance for education life of students. Moreover, technology provides us with online lessons, courses with certificate programs Therefore, they can achieve them whenever they want. For instance; students want to complete some courses, but if they do not have enough time, they can get them online. Also, they can take these courses sooner. Hence, they can save time by doing so. In addition to this, the computerised educational environment provides students with a variety of advantages in terms of fulfilling academic tasks. What I mean is that computers bring many positive improvements, such as pace, efficiency, accuracy and simplicity. For example, a civil engineer can use special software installed on a computer in order to draw up architectural plans of buildings faster, more efficiently and more accurately. Likewise, many students can now prepare their papers, report, projects, presentations, etc by using Office Programs installed on a computer. In this way, they save time and create better assignments. All in all, in the light of the aforementioned points, it can be effortlessly concluded that educational technology has lots of websites, applications and software, which are very useful for students and this speeds up students' learning and benefits them.
It is an undeniable fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays a vital role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s whole
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
especially
in academic life. In this context,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides more and faster learning for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. In my opinion, that statement is
definitively
correct for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the following paragraphs, I will try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
educational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
; as it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
fact from above,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
greatly
expanded access to education and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
all information
easily
accessible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. That’s to say; with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the Internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
easily
find any materials and information which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to do research or projects.
For example
, Wikipedia is the most popular website for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and it is of great importance for education life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
provides us with online lessons, courses with certificate programs
Therefore
, they can achieve them whenever they want.
For instance
;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to complete
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
courses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if they do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them online.
Also
, they can take these courses sooner.
Hence
, they can save time by doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.

In addition
to this, the
Possible spelling mistake. 'computerised' is British English.
computerised
educational environment provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with a variety of advantages in terms of fulfilling academic tasks. What I mean is that computers bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
improvements, such as pace, efficiency, accuracy and simplicity.
For example
, a civil engineer can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
special software installed on a computer in order to draw up architectural plans of buildings faster, more
efficiently
and more
accurately
.
Likewise
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
prepare their papers, report, projects, presentations, etc by using Office Programs installed on a computer. In this way, they save time and create better assignments.

All in all, in the light of the aforementioned points, it can be
effortlessly
concluded that educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has lots of websites, applications and software, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
speeds up
students' learning and benefits them.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
To have another language is to possess a second soul.
Charlemagne

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more important lo plant trees in open areas of towns and cities than to build more housing. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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