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It is probable that in the future there will be no borders and people will be able to move freely between countries. To what extent do you agree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or exp v.1

It is probable that in the future there will be no borders and people will be able to move freely between countries. 1
Nowadays, it is really important for people to prefer nationalism or internationalism in the modern world. Many countries eliminated their borders against foreign people, however many regions are reached independence and establish new borders. In the past, the human has the freedom to live across the world, owing to abundant resources in the world but in recent century many regions set new borders against foreign people because they believe it is helpful to save their security and resources. As a result of that activities, creates many people nationalist who prefer their own country to other countries. In addition, many ethics and races create new countries and fight to defend their independence, due to creating new countries many people who have not enough resources fall in war repetition cycle against rich countries, furthermore, rich countries fight new battles to become richer than before, for instance, in world war 2 Nazi regime settle war against other countries to reach more resources. From past century until now, some philosophies wanted unite for human in world war because they strongly believe humans could be free to live in the world, moreover, based on morality, is not any different between human at all, such as skin colors or genders. many people think borders is not a good idea in modern life in that due to virtual network people eliminate their borders and could access to worldwide. In addition, humans rights paper defense human freedom to choice their lands; unfortunately, countries do not respect that. Many people prefer nationalism to internationalism and have their own advantage and disadvantages; however, I truly think people go through the way to eliminate physical borders between countries such as that happened in virtual networks.
Nowadays, it is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
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people
to prefer nationalism or internationalism in the modern world.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
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countries
eliminated their
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borders
against foreign
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people
,
however
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions
are reached
independence and establish
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new
borders.

In the past, the
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human
has the freedom to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
across the
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world
, owing to abundant resources in the
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world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in recent century
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
regions set
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new
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borders
against foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe it is helpful to save their security and resources.
As a result
of that activities, creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nationalist who prefer their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
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country
to other
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countries
.
In addition
,
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many
ethics and races create
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new
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countries
and fight to defend their independence, due to creating
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new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
who have not
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enough
resources fall in
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war
repetition cycle against rich
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countries
,
furthermore
, rich
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countries
fight
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new
battles to become richer than
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before
,
for instance
, in
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world
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war
2 Nazi regime settle
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war
against other
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countries
to reach more resources.

From past century until
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now
,
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some
philosophies
Probably a preposition is missing after 'wanted'.
wanted unite
for
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human
in
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world
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war
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because
they
strongly
believe
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humans
could be free to
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live
in the
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world
,
moreover
, based on morality, is not any
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different
between
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human
at all, such as skin colors or genders.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
many
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people
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think
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borders
is not a
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good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in modern life in that due to virtual network
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people
eliminate their
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borders
and could access to worldwide.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
rights paper defense
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
freedom to choice their lands; unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
do not respect that.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer nationalism to internationalism and have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantage and disadvantages;
however
, I
truly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go through the way to eliminate physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
borders
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
such as that happened in virtual networks.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
To learn a language is to have one more window from which to look at the world.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay It is probable that in the future there will be no borders and people will be able to move freely between countries. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
284 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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