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The expression “Never, never give up” means to keep trying and never stop working for your goals. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

The expression “Never, never give up” means to keep trying and never stop working for your goals. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Youth are the backbone of any nation, and they are its hope and vision for a bright future. In the current time, despite that clear belief, a big sector of the future generations is committed in many kinds of illegal activities; therefore, these alarming trends need to be discussed in order to address the causes and possible solutions. In the current era, young people play a pivotal role in the development of their countries, However, there are many factors which may take them into criminal activities. Both lack of guidance from family and the influence of the media may take a role in that. Not only are the parents responsible for providing their offspring with money and financial needs, but also, they are to teach them the values and ethics; they have to raise them up on respecting the law. Studies showed that in 85% of the juveniles who are accused of breaking the laws have gone through family issues affected their upbringing. Moving on to the other factor related to media, a big portion of the children is affected and influenced by the shared content on the YouTube or the in the movies. A few years ago, inappropriate videos went viral on all the social media and the online websites of a game called “The blue whale” which command the users to injure themselves using sharp items or to kill someone. Many cases ended up with suicides. In order to manage this concern, we need to come up with some solutions. Now, after we have presented the causes of the crimes among teenagers, we will discuss the possible ways to control it through the use of media awareness campaigns and society activities. TV, Radio, press are double edge weapons which can be used to enhance or diminish the neighbourhood values and beliefs. If the authorities want to alleviate those behaviours, launching awareness campaigns can be quite helpful. For instance, in Egypt, in 2018, Mohamed Salah, the famous football player, led a movement against youth crimes in terms of giving up the addiction. It has a significant positive response from the Egyptians, and many people decided to change their life to a better style. In addition to the vital role of the media, public rehabilitation centres can be a good support and source of guidance to the citizens. It may be good and acceptable places for youth events which may be directed in the sake of raising the individuals’ responsibilities toward their society. A recent study by the American Rehabilitation Association showed that 75% of the students who are involved in volunteer social activities are less likely to commit crimes. In conclusion, the current generations are vulnerable and at risk for undesirable behaviours which may take them into the dark criminal world, however, with guidance from close persons like fathers and mothers and community influences, we can keep our beloved children in a safe zone.
Youth
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
the backbone of any nation, and they are its hope and vision for a bright future. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
time, despite that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
belief, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
sector of the future generations
is committed
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kinds of illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
;
therefore
, these alarming trends need to
be discussed
in order to address the causes and possible solutions.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
era, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
play a pivotal role in the development of their countries,
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors which may take them into criminal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Both lack of guidance from family and the influence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
may take a role in that. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are the parents responsible for providing their offspring with money and financial needs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
, they are to teach them the values and ethics; they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
raise them up on respecting the law. Studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that in 85% of the juveniles who
are accused
of breaking the laws have gone through family issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
their upbringing. Moving on to the other factor related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
portion of the children is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
and influenced by the shared content on the YouTube or the in the movies. A few years ago, inappropriate videos went viral on all the social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
and the online websites of a game called “The blue whale” which command the users to injure themselves using sharp items or to kill someone.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
cases ended up with suicides. In order to manage this concern, we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
solutions.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, after we have presented the causes of the crimes among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, we will discuss the possible ways to control it through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
awareness campaigns and society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. TV, Radio, press are double edge weapons which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to enhance or diminish the
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
values and beliefs. If the authorities want to alleviate those
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, launching awareness campaigns can be quite helpful.
For instance
, in Egypt, in 2018, Mohamed Salah, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
football player, led a movement against youth crimes in terms of giving up the addiction. It has a significant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
response from the Egyptians, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
decided to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Did you mean "lives"?
life
to a better style.
In addition
to the vital role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
, public rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
can be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
support and source of guidance to the citizens. It may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and acceptable places for youth
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
which may
be directed
in the sake of raising the individuals’ responsibilities toward their society. A recent study by the American Rehabilitation Association
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 75% of the students who
are involved
in volunteer social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are less likely to commit crimes.

In conclusion
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generations are vulnerable and at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for undesirable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
which may take them into the dark criminal world,
however
, with guidance from close persons like fathers and mothers and community influences, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our beloved children in a safe zone.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay The expression “Never, never give up” means to keep trying and never stop working for your goals. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
485 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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