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More and more people ore using the internet to do their tasks rather then doing in person. (e. g. bonking, shopping, hotel booking etc. ). Do the advantages of this trend outweighs the disadvantages? v.1

More and more people ore using the internet to do their tasks rather then doing in person. (e. g. bonking, shopping, hotel booking etc. ). Do the advantages of this trend outweighs the disadvantages? v. 1
Nowadays, it is common for individuals to encounter an advertisement in their daily routine. There are various merits of advertisements; however, it also comes with the demerits. Both the advantages and disadvantages of commercials are elaborated further. It is unquestionable that there are several benefits of promotion. The most prominent one is, it provides information to the future customer about the products available in the market. Which help them to select from a wide range of products and get the maximum output of their money spend. Besides providing information to users, it also offers various kind of employment. For example, to produce good commercial, it required director, cameraman, designer and many more. In addition to this, advertisement helps an organization to improve its market share by increasing sales figures. On the other hand, the disadvantages of advertisement cannot be overlooked. Firstly, many companies use celebrities to promote their products, so the person who admires that celebrities think that they should also use this product to make their personality the same as celebrities have. Secondly, many commercials are present the product in such a way that misguide the end-users. For instance, the commercial of fairness cream displays the product in such a way that consumer tends to believe that this product will help them to increase their beauty. Finally, a considerable amount is required to make an excellent commercial, and this cost is recovered by increasing the price of the product, which cost more to the customer. In conclusion, although advertisement has drawbacks like overpricing and misguides. I think it is more beneficial for the customer as it provides information and employment to the various person.
Nowadays, it is common for individuals to encounter an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in their daily routine. There are various merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
;
however
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with the demerits. Both the advantages and disadvantages of commercials
are elaborated
further
.

It is unquestionable that there are several benefits of promotion. The most prominent one is, it provides information to the future customer about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available in the market. Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to select from a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the maximum output of their money spend.
Besides
providing information to users, it
also
offers various kind of employment.
For example
, to produce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
, it required director, cameraman, designer and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
an organization to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
its market share by increasing sales figures.

On the other hand
, the disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
cannot
be overlooked
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
celebrities to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the person who admires that celebrities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their personality the same as celebrities have.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
commercials are present the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in such a way that misguide the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
-users.
For instance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
of fairness cream displays the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
in such a way that consumer tends to believe that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to increase their beauty.
Finally
, a considerable amount
is required
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
commercial
, and this cost
is recovered
by increasing the price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, which cost more to the customer.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
has drawbacks like overpricing and misguides. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is more beneficial for the customer as it provides information and employment to the various person.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay More and more people ore using the internet to do their tasks rather then doing in person. (e. g. bonking, shopping, hotel booking etc. ). Do the advantages of this trend outweighs the disadvantages? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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