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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.7

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. v. 7
It is undeniable that sports have increasingly improved their useful contribution to people's lives. While team sports are greatly advocated by some people, there are some arguments of more significant roles of individual sports. In the scope of this essay, the benefits of both sorts of sport would be completely justified. On the one hand, team sports offer players interpersonal skills development. Playing in a team is attributed to the development of teamwork and communication skills. Team cooperation requires interaction and understanding among team players so that they are assured to take in training tactics. Accordingly, team players will implicitly reinforce their collaboration as well as communication skills. Furthermore, it also contributes to the friendship and solidarity enhancement. The presence of modern social networking inevitably hinders people from face-to-face meetings, hence it would be practically great for girls and guys to seize the opportunity to pour their hearts during playing games. For instance, while playing basketball after various stressful classes, students are able to chat with each other and share their stories, which is an effective way to ease their learning pressures. On the other hand, playing sports individually is beneficial to maturity of personal competencies such as temper management and self-independence. Players who are engaged in individual sports such as swimming, taekwondo and karate are inevitably prone to loneliness and desperation and they have to get through them without much others' help, which gradually trains them to become stronger and more durable. Additionally, those who take part in individual sports are more flexible in setting up their own schedules, which are not dependent on other members. They are allowed to make their appointments at their convenience without taking teammates' plans into account. In conclusion, the two sport kinds offer certain merits to players. While interpersonal skill improvements are subject to group sports, personal competencies developments are regarded as significant outcomes of individual sports. I personally believe that no matter what advantages, players should take up a sport in accordance with their own preferences and passions so that they can get the results with flying colors.
It is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have
increasingly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
their useful contribution to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are
greatly
advocated by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments of more significant roles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. In the scope of this essay, the benefits of both sorts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
would be completely justified.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
interpersonal
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "skills'" or "skill's"?
skills
development.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Playing
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
is attributed
to the development of teamwork and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Team
cooperation requires interaction and understanding among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
are assured
to take in training tactics.
Accordingly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
will
implicitly
reinforce their collaboration
as well
as communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
Furthermore
, it
also
contributes to the friendship and solidarity enhancement. The presence of modern social networking
inevitably
hinders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from face-to-face meetings,
hence
it would be
practically
great for girls and guys to seize the opportunity to pour their hearts during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
games.
For instance
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
basketball after various stressful classes, students are able to chat with each other and share their stories, which is an effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
their learning pressures.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
individually
is beneficial to maturity of personal competencies such as temper management and self-independence.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Players
who
are engaged
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as swimming, taekwondo and karate are
inevitably
prone to loneliness and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
desperation and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
through them without much others'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, which
gradually
trains them to become stronger and more durable.
Additionally
, those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are more flexible in setting up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
schedules, which are not dependent on other members. They are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their appointments at their convenience without taking teammates' plans into account.

In conclusion
, the two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
kinds offer certain merits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
. While interpersonal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
improvements are subject to group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, personal competencies developments
are regarded
as significant outcomes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. I
personally
believe that no matter what advantages,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
players
should take up a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
in accordance with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
preferences and passions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the results with flying colors.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
346 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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