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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like tennis or swimming. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.1

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like tennis or swimming. 1
Nowadays, sports become an indispensable part of any person who want to be fit. Some individuals claim that sports should be played in a team like football. On the other hand, many of them believe that playing sports individually is better. Personally, team sports are the right choice as it is enhance not only the leadership of the players but also boost their performance. For one, sports that require some sorts of collaboration among team members, might help them to gain more skills, which would help them in their social life, such as hard working and management. For example, a recent research has been published in a sports newspaper states that, people who tend to be involved in various team sports have a high possibility to be effective members in their society by participating in different activities. From another angle, individual sports focus on building muscle or to become more fit as those types of sports need much effort, thus burning more calories daily. For instance, many reputable clubs depend on individual sports in order to make their players not only stronger but also healthier. To sum up, we should be wise while choosing any kind of sports. All sports have a positive effect on our life if we managed to make use of it perfectly. I recommend to balance between individual and team sports, as this will lead by itself to produce a well fit generation able to bear the responsibilities of them on their shoulders without any complaints or problems
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
become an indispensable part of any person who want to
be fit
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should
be played
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
like football.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them believe that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
individually
is better.
Personally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are the right choice as it is
Consider using a past participle here: "enhanced".
enhance
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the leadership of the players
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
boost their performance.

For one,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that require
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sorts of collaboration among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
members, might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to gain more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their social life, such as
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
and management.
For example
, a recent research has
been published
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
newspaper states that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who tend to
be involved
in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have a high possibility to be effective members in their society by participating in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
activities.

From another angle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
focus on building muscle or to become more fit as those types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
need much effort,
thus
burning more calories daily.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reputable clubs depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their players not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
stronger
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
healthier.

To sum up, we should be wise while choosing any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. All
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on our life if we managed to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it
perfectly
. I recommend to balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, as this will lead by itself to produce a well fit generation able to bear the responsibilities of them on their shoulders without any complaints or
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
problems
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football. While other people think that taking part in individual sports is better, like tennis or swimming. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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