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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion v.5

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. 5
Some people argue that playing club sports provide people with more benefits as opposed to participating in individual sports. Personally, I believe that both types of sports can provide a range of benefits to people, and it depends on what benefits each individual wishes to achieve as to which game they should choose to play. On the one hand, team sports, such as football and basketball, provide a number of benefits to those who play. For example, organized sports give players the opportunity to develop interpersonal skills, like teamwork and communication skills, which will not only help people in their day-to-day social interactions but also benefit them in their workplace. In addition, team sports also offer players the chance to develop a sense of unity, friendship, and sportsmanship between teammates, which can really add value to people’s lives by making them feel a part of something. On the other hand, individual sports, like tennis and swimming, also have their merits. When someone plays an individual sport, it usually gives them more opportunities to enhance their personal skills, such as being able to manage emotions, cope with stress, and build confidence and self-esteem. When people are playing an individual sport, they usually have no one else to rely on for support during the game or match, and therefore, individuals will need to develop a strong mindset to be able to deal with and overcome any setbacks they may face. Individual sports also provide better opportunities for people to challenge themselves by setting goals and achieving personal bests. In conclusion, I feel that all sports offer great benefits for people’s mental and physical health, and that people should choose whatever athletics they are most interested in playing.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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people
argue that playing club
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sports
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provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with more
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benefits
as opposed to participating in
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individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
Personally
, I believe that both types of
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sports
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
a range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, and it depends on what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
wishes to achieve as to which game they should choose to play.

On the one hand, team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, such as football and basketball,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
to those who play.
For example
, organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
give players the opportunity to develop interpersonal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, like teamwork and communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their day-to-day social interactions
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but
also
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benefit
them in their workplace.
In addition
, team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
also
offer players the chance to develop a sense of unity, friendship, and sportsmanship between teammates, which can
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
value to
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people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
by making them feel a part of something.

On the other hand
,
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individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, like tennis and swimming,
also
have their merits. When someone plays an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, it
usually
gives them more opportunities to enhance their personal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, such as being able to manage emotions, cope with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, and build confidence and self-esteem. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are playing an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
, they
usually
have no one else to rely on for support during the game or match, and
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
will need to develop a strong mindset to be able to deal with and overcome any setbacks they may face.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
better opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to challenge themselves by setting goals and achieving personal bests.

In conclusion
, I feel that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
offer great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
benefits
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
mental and physical health, and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should choose whatever athletics they are most interested in playing.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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