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TPO 49 Make textbooks list available earlier Students always have to wait until the beginning of the semester to find out which textbooks they will need for their new courses But since a lot of students register early for their courses I think that the li v.1

TPO 49 Make textbooks list available earlier Students always have to wait until the beginning of the semester to find out which textbooks they will need for their new courses But since a lot of students register early for their courses I think that the li v. 1
These days, world wars do not happen as often as the last century. Therefore, many people think that governments would rather spend more money on public services instead of building the military forces. I partly agree with this notion because of some considerable reasons. On the one hand, there is a social area which needs to be invested with the top priority. Public health care services should be enhanced to serve older people effectively. This is because 99% of global population, who are not rich, depend on public services with low cost to maintain their life. If governments did not serve them in the best way, they would have more money to use private services. This leads to a society with the low quality of life, and no one wants to contribute tax revenue which should be used for local residents first. On the other hand, it is necessary to build the strong military forces. Firstly, the military is to keep safety in the country. Although the world war does not usually occur, its potential still appears. For instance, Iran and North Korea still continue to search for nuclear weapons that threat the world peace. Secondly, the strong armed forces are so helpful to face with serious diseases. For example, Chinese government had to use the military to transport and deliver goods to patients during the corona virus season. To conclude, it is very crucial to improve the quality of public services which serve local residents with the low fee. However, the military also plays an important role in particular situations. In my opinion, governments should invest in suitable areas in response to the real situation.
These days, world wars do not happen as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
as the last century.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
would
rather
spend more money on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
instead
of building the military forces. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this notion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
considerable reasons.

On the one hand, there is a social area which needs to
be invested
with the top priority.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Public
health care
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
should
be enhanced
to serve older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
effectively
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
99% of global population, who are not rich, depend on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
with low cost to maintain their life. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
did not serve them in the best way, they would have more money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
. This leads to a society with the low quality of life, and no one wants to contribute tax revenue which should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for local residents
first
.

On the other hand
, it is necessary to build the strong military forces.
Firstly
, the military is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
safety in the country. Although the world war does not
usually
occur, its potential
still
appears.
For instance
, Iran and North Korea
still
continue to search for nuclear weapons that threat the world peace.
Secondly
, the strong armed forces are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
helpful to face with serious diseases.
For example
, Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
had to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the military to transport and deliver
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to patients during the
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
season.

To conclude
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
which serve local residents with the low fee.
However
, the military
also
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role
in particular
situations. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
should invest in suitable areas in response to the real situation.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 49 Make textbooks list available earlier Students always have to wait until the beginning of the semester to find out which textbooks they will need for their new courses But since a lot of students register early for their courses I think that the li v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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