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Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in team, while other people think that take part in individual sports is better. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in team, while other people think that take part in individual sports is better. v. 1
Nowadays, it has been common and frequent to practice sports due to studies about its health’s beneficial for all ages. Practicing sports with a team and alone is both positive behaviours. However, in my opinion, to do it with other people is more significant than by yourself. Firstly, a team improves the communication skills, in other words, the capacity to lead with another human being rises significantly. For example, an athlete who plays baseball with a team became able to help the colleague and also to receive help from him when needed. Secondly, when a person in playing in a group, the possibility of giving up the practice is reduced because they can incentive each other to continue and develop their abilities. For instance, sometimes is difficult to do physical activities because the daily routine has been too tight, meanwhile there is someone to encourage you, the motivation upgrades. Thirdly, playing alone can be boring as there is no one to talk and share, there is no motivation and social skills development. Although it might be simpler and easier, in a long time the person may desist as a result of lack of motivation and interest in the sport. Activities in group are, in general, more difficult to give up. To sum up, the both kinds of activity are healthy, nonetheless, when it is in a group, others skills like communication and socialization are improved. Likewise, the abandonment of the practice is reduced, as well as to play alone might be boring in the long term. So, I conclude that to play with a lot of people has been better for the community.
Nowadays, it has been common and frequent to practice sports due to studies about its health’s beneficial for all ages. Practicing sports with a team and alone is both
positive
behaviours
.
However
, in my opinion, to do it with
other
people
is
more significant than by yourself.

Firstly
, a team
improves
the communication
skills
, in
other
words, the capacity to lead with another human being rises
significantly
.
For example
, an athlete who plays baseball with a team became able to
help
the colleague and
also
to receive
help
from him when needed.

Secondly
, when a person in playing in a group, the possibility of giving up the practice is
reduced
because
they
can incentive
each
other
to continue and develop their abilities.
For instance
,
sometimes is
difficult to do physical activities
because
the daily routine has been too tight, meanwhile there is someone to encourage you, the motivation upgrades.

Thirdly
, playing alone can be boring as there is no one to talk and share, there is no motivation and social
skills
development. Although it might be simpler and easier, in a long time the person may desist
as a result
of lack of motivation and interest in the sport. Activities in group are,
in general
, more difficult to give up.

To sum up, the both kinds of activity are healthy, nonetheless, when it is in a group, others
skills
like communication and socialization are
improved
.
Likewise
, the abandonment of the practice is
reduced
,
as well
as to play alone might be boring in the long term.
So
, I conclude that to play with
a lot of
people
has been better for the community.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in team, while other people think that take part in individual sports is better. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
273 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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