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some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. other feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v.6

some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. other feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v. 6
Leisure has often been defined as a quality of experience of free time. Massive of mass deem that with the assist of spare time people can set their minds, they can do a myriad of activities namely, reading, word puzzles so forth. While other individuals assert that mind can be set by the rest. I will elaborate both views in upcoming fragments with rational conclusion. Ironically enough, multifarious of folks reduce their strain with various activities such as, indoor games, reading books, and so on. Nowadays the plethora of people spends their most of time in front of the computer screen as well as other electronic gadgets, it puts down negative impact on their brain and they feel tensity, after that, they give preference to outdoor games which gives them tremendous benefits of their health, additionally, numbers the folks suffering from health diseases, they can choose swimming, walking and other physical activities. Having the discussion of paragraph, it could not the end of the discussion. However, opposite people believe that rest is the optimal method for reducing the anxiety, yet there are multiple of individuals, who is doing the daily physical tiredness job, for example, a nurse's job is very hard, they always walk one patient to another, through this, their body demand for rest along with it gives tremendous benefits of their health. Apart from it, at the free time they can do indoor activities, which also help to them live happy life regardless of any worries. Thus, it can be inferred that, doing free time activities give time activities give many benefits owing to people can reduce their health issues, different folks have different abilities pertaining to spare time.
Leisure has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
been defined
as a quality of experience of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Massive of mass deem that with the assist of spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can set their minds, they can do a myriad of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
namely
, reading, word puzzles
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
other individuals assert that mind can
be set
by the rest. I will elaborate both views in upcoming fragments with rational conclusion.

Ironically
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
, multifarious of folks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their strain with various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as, indoor games, reading books, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. Nowadays the plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spends their most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of the computer screen
as well
as other electronic gadgets, it puts down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
brain and
they feel tensity, after that, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
preference to outdoor games which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
them tremendous benefits of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
additionally
, numbers the folks suffering from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
diseases, they can choose swimming, walking and other physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Having the discussion of paragraph, it could not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the discussion.

However
, opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that rest is the optimal method for reducing the anxiety,
yet
there are multiple of individuals, who is doing the daily physical tiredness job,
for example
, a nurse's job is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, they always walk one patient to another, through this, their body demand for rest along with it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
tremendous benefits of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Apart from it, at the free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they can do indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, which
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happy life regardless of any worries.

Thus
, it can
be inferred
that, doing free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits owing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
folks have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
abilities pertaining to spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. other feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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