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It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v.20

It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 20
It is crucial to raise a child into a good individual in the society. Some people believe we should employ punishment to help children establish good behaviors at an early age. I totally agree with this opinion. Although some people think it is enough to tell someone what is right and what is wrong, this is obviously not the case for children as their brains are still new to how the world works. If no punishment takes place, then children may take the words lightly. They may not remember what they have been taught, or they may underestimate the consequences of their actions. So, they will likely repeat their wrong actions given a chance. However, if a punishment is applied, then children will take the words seriously and unable to forget them. Every time a bad intention comes up in their mind, their body will reflexively remind them of the past punishment of a similar action. How should we apply punishment on children? Eastern residents tend to punish children by violence, while Western residents believe it is better to deter them from their favorite activities such as playing games or watching TV. The latter should be encouraged. As violence may cause children to suffer mental problems, they may grow up into a criminal instead of becoming a good adult. In conclusion, while punishing children for their wrongdoings may help them remember what is wrong, too much of it may lead to mental issues in children. Therefore, parents and teachers should study different kinds of punishment carefully before applying any of them.
It is crucial to raise a child into a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
individual in the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe we should employ
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
establish
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
behaviors at an early age. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.

Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
someone what is right and what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, this is
obviously
not the case for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
as their brains are
still
new to how the world works. If no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
takes place, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may take the words
lightly
. They may not remember what they have
been taught
, or they may underestimate the consequences of their actions.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they will likely repeat their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
actions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a chance.

However
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is applied
, then
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will take the words
seriously
and unable to forget them. Every time a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
intention
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
up in their mind, their body will
reflexively
remind them of the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
of a similar action.

How should we apply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
? Eastern residents tend to punish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by violence, while Western residents believe it is better to deter them from their favorite activities such as playing games or watching TV. The latter should
be encouraged
. As violence may cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to suffer mental problems, they may grow up into a criminal
instead
of becoming a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
adult.

In conclusion
, while punishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for their wrongdoings may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them remember what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
, too much of it may lead to mental issues in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
Therefore
, parents and teachers should study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
applying any of them.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children? v. 20

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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