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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.5

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v. 5
Leisure times are more and more important to people in today’s stressful world. Most people think that it is crucial to utilize free time for activities that can improve one’s mind. Some people however strongly advocate that resting the mind during leisure time is more important. It is interesting to see that people from different background have different perception on the same issue. I will discuss both views and provide my opinion in the following essay. Those who agree with the former idea gives their reasons as follow. To start off, if we were to use our free time to read or work on word puzzles, our brain will more likely to remain active and fresh as we never stop using it. This is why elderly people should never stop working their mind and constantly try to improve them. For instance, elderly who constantly play Mahjong are more likely to stay alert and sharp compared to those who didn’t. Another reason is that, we are to focus on our work on studies in the daily life and forgot to upgrade and improve ourselves. On the other hand, some people think we should keep our minds unoccupied during the free times. This is mostly because we are too immerse in our daily life that is already stress enough for the brain. Hence, we should rest our mind to help us go further and start afresh. Besides that, we should not continue to stress the brain as it may bring unhealthy consequences such as difficulties to fall asleep as well as overstressed. In conclusion, both positions make good and reasonable argument. Personally, I believe that we should take a break every now and then from the stressful environment we are in so we don’t overwork our mind. Furthermore, we should be extra careful of our mental health as there are many increasing cases of stress and depression.
Leisure
times
are more and more
important
to
people
in
today
’s stressful world. Most
people
think
that it is crucial to utilize free
time
for activities that can
improve
one’s
mind
.
Some
people
however
strongly
advocate that resting the
mind
during leisure
time
is more
important
. It is interesting to
see
that
people
from
different
background have
different
perception on the same issue. I will discuss both views and provide my opinion in the following essay.

Those who
agree
with the former
idea
gives their reasons
as follow
. To
start
off, if we were to
use
our free
time
to read or work on word puzzles, our brain will more likely to remain active and fresh as we never
stop
using it. This is why elderly
people
should never
stop
working their
mind
and
constantly
try to
improve
them.
For instance
, elderly who
constantly
play
Mahjong
are more likely to stay alert and sharp compared to those who didn’t. Another reason is that, we are to focus on our work on studies in the daily life and forgot to upgrade and
improve
ourselves.

On the other hand
,
some
people
think
we should
keep
our
minds
unoccupied during the free
times
. This is
mostly
because
we are
too immerse
in our daily life
that is
already
stress
enough
for the brain.
Hence
, we should rest our
mind
to
help
us go
further
and
start
afresh.
Besides
that, we should not continue to
stress
the brain as it may bring unhealthy consequences such as difficulties to fall asleep
as well
as
overstressed
.

In conclusion
, both positions
make
good
and reasonable argument.
Personally
, I believe that we should take a break every
now
and then from the stressful environment we are in
so
we don’t overwork our
mind
.
Furthermore
, we should be extra careful of our mental health as there are
many
increasing cases of
stress
and depression.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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