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Some people think the qualities a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Qualities a person needs to be successful can’t be learnt in university or in similar academic institution. v. 2
It is believed that essential attributes for a rewarding life cannot be acquired on academic campuses. From my perspective, I partially agree with this statement due to a few reasons below. To commence with, most contemporary academic institutions are not able to deliver a fully hands-on environment to students. It is because learners are crammed with theoretical, monotonous knowledge without comprehending such practical traits as the ability to suffer from pressure or debating skills. Modern students, therefore, are more prone to get confused when facing real-life dilemmas due to their lack of experience. To illustrate, a recent survey in May 2016 by Massey University shows that 70% of graduates claimed that they had trouble with communicating skills during their first working month, which was explained by the fact that they had not practiced in universities. In other words, some positive characters may not be attained on school campuses. Nevertheless, the educational system in schools can reshape necessary features for individuals. That is, the framework in institutions roots fundamental traits for success in students. Diligence, for instance, is such a precious feature that can be hardly found in anyone in the modern globe without the guidance of education. Besides, students are ingrained with not only abstract concepts but also moral values by teachers and experts. Thus, in the real world, they are able to work loyally without harnessing illegal expedience. To sum up, pivotal characteristics for a fruitful life can be obtained not only in social life but also in educational campuses. Perhaps undergraduates may pick up crucial characters so as to become exemplary citizens in the 21st century.
It
is believed
that essential attributes for a rewarding life cannot
be acquired
on academic campuses. From my perspective, I
partially
agree
with this statement due to a few reasons below.

To commence with, most contemporary academic institutions are not able to deliver a
fully
hands-on environment to
students
. It is
because
learners
are crammed
with theoretical, monotonous knowledge without comprehending such practical traits as the ability to suffer from pressure or debating
skills
. Modern
students
,
therefore
, are more prone to
get
confused when facing real-life dilemmas due to their lack of experience. To illustrate, a recent survey in May 2016 by Massey University
shows
that 70% of graduates claimed that they had trouble with communicating
skills
during their
first
working month, which was
explained
by the fact that they had not practiced in universities.
In other words
,
some
positive
characters may not
be attained
on school campuses.

Nevertheless
, the educational system in schools can reshape necessary features for individuals.
That is
, the framework in institutions roots fundamental traits for success in
students
. Diligence,
for instance
, is such a precious feature that can be hardly found in anyone in the modern globe without the guidance of education.
Besides
,
students
are ingrained
with not
only
abstract concepts
but
also
moral values by teachers and experts.
Thus
, in the real world, they are able to work
loyally
without harnessing illegal expedience.

To sum up, pivotal characteristics for a fruitful life can
be obtained
not
only
in social life
but
also
in educational campuses. Perhaps undergraduates may pick up crucial characters
so as to
become exemplary citizens in the 21st century.
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IELTS essay Some people think the qualities a person needs to become successful in today’s world cannot be learned at a university or similar academic institution.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
268 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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