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In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v.8

In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 8
It is important to consider how the count of old age people moving to live in old age homes with other elderly people has increased substantially. In some cases, the government reimburses the expenses of such people. However, I believe it is the wholesome duty of the family members to pay for the care provided to them. Some people argue that the old age homes, developed for taking care of elderly people should be government funded because they are the citizens of a country and have served for it for so many years and hence, they should support them in their later age. Moreover, people have paid taxes to the government throughout their life and thus, it is their due responsibility towards them. On the contrary, I support the view that family is ought to be looked upon when their parents turn old and need support financially. Parents are the one's who have helped their children in development whether it be personal or professional. Furthermore, they are the one who have also supported them financially in their school and college studies and provided all the leisures to them so that they can lead a happy, healthy and stress free life. Finally, when it comes to children, they should not step back in paying for the nurses who can take good care of the parents in old age homes. In conclusion, although government should help in providing nominal cost of stay and nurses in old age homes, family members should be liable to pay for the expenses involved in taking care of the elderly people.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to consider how the count of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
moving to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
homes with other elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
increased
substantially
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
reimburses the expenses of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
However
, I believe it is the wholesome duty of the family members to pay for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
provided to them.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
homes, developed for taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
funded
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the citizens of a country and have served for it for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years and
hence
, they should support them in their later
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have paid taxes to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
throughout their life and
thus
, it is their due responsibility towards them.

On the contrary
, I support the view that family is ought to
be looked
upon when their parents turn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
and need support
financially
. Parents are the one's who have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
their children in development whether it be personal or professional.
Furthermore
, they are the one who have
also
supported them
financially
in their school and college studies and provided all the
Possible spelling mistake found.
leisures
to them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can lead a happy, healthy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
free life.
Finally
, when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to children, they should not step back in paying for the nurses who can take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the parents in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
homes.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in providing nominal cost of stay and nurses in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
homes, family members should be liable to pay for the expenses involved in taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
care
of the elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay In Britain, when someone gets old they often go to live in a home with other old people where there are nurses to look after them. Sometimes the government has to pay for this care. Who do you think should pay for this care, the government or the family? v. 8

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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