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Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.4

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. v. 4
Over the last few decades the pace of change in the life of human beings has increased significantly. This can be because of the technological advancement or scientific breakthrough that are changing the way we live out life on a daily basis. This illustrates that change is not always a personal opinion, but inevitable fact of life, and we need to constantly adapt to it. Some people are in denial that change is not really worth it, this may be because of the sense of security they feel and adapting to the change might exploit it, but we cannot resist change or prevent it as the world will continue to grow and science will make new breakthroughs as it is their job to make possible discoveries. It is better to train ourselves so that we can take advantage of it and make it to excel our skills. Moreover, change is not always good as it creates unemployment. With the technology advancements humans are replaced with robots and computers that are doing the daily life jobs with much better results and accuracy. However, sometimes these changes are not appreciated by the people who has to make some investment in order to make the process more efficient I. e. Working condition or property development. In conclusion, I would say that change can be stimulating for individuals as they get to learn new skills and innovations, but it should natural not forced. If it is forced then, it might bring negative outcomes which might result in disagreement between people.
Over the last few decades the pace of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of human beings has increased
significantly
. This can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the technological advancement or scientific breakthrough that are changing the way we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
Did you mean "our"?
out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
on a daily basis. This illustrates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is not always a personal opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
inevitable fact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and we need to
constantly
adapt to it.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are in denial that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is not
really
worth it, this may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the sense of security they feel and adapting to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
might exploit it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we cannot resist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
it as the world will continue to grow and science will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
new breakthroughs as it is their job to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
possible discoveries. It is better to train ourselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can take advantage of it and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it to excel our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
is not always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as it creates unemployment. With the technology advancements humans
are replaced
with robots and computers that are doing the daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
jobs with much better results and accuracy.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changes
are not appreciated by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
Did you mean "have", "haven"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'people' should be used.
has
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
investment in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the process more efficient
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
I. e.
Working condition or property development.

In conclusion
, I would say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
can be stimulating for individuals as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and innovations,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
The word 'natural' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
should natural
not forced. If it
is forced
then, it might bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes which might result in disagreement between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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