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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v.19

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v. 19
There is a great shift in people's lifestyle over the last few years. These days they involve themselves in hectic work routine and have very less time for leisure activities. However, leisure time is essential to ease tension and to get refreshed and energetic. Some people argue that leisure time can be utilised efficiently by doing mind booster type activities. Others state that after busier schedule, one should relax their mind. I believe that leisure time provides us opportunities to further enhance our knowledge and mind. Activities like reading, playing puzzle games etc. are the best use of spending leisure time. One cannot deny about the numerous benefits of reading. All the scientists and scholars used to read books in their leisure time. It not only increased our knowledge bur also enable us to draw our own observation under the light of reading materials. Furthermore puzzle games contribute a lot in making mind sharp and efficient. Nowadays, the lifestyle of people has dramatically changed because of the economic crisis and recession. People get involve in multiple jobs in order to earn their living. So it is mandatory to have peace and rest of mind by doing activities such as listening music, watching television and doing physical activities. It will help them in easing tension and make them energetic for their future work. In conclusion, I would like to say that constructive activities in leisure time could contribute immense benefits to us. By doing these activities one can gain plenty of knowledge which would definitely help them in their coming life.
There is a great shift in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's lifestyle over the last few years. These days they involve themselves in hectic work routine and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
tension and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
refreshed and energetic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
efficiently
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
booster type
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Others state that after busier schedule, one should relax their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
provides us opportunities to
further
enhance our knowledge and mind.

Activities like reading, playing puzzle games etc. are the best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. One cannot deny about the numerous benefits of reading. All the scientists and scholars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to read books in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
increased our knowledge bur
also
enable us to draw our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
observation under the light of reading materials.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
puzzle games contribute a lot in making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
sharp and efficient.

Nowadays, the lifestyle of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
has
dramatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the economic crisis and recession.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involve in multiple jobs in order to earn their living.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it is mandatory to have peace and rest of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as listening music, watching television and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in easing tension and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them energetic for their future work.

In conclusion
, I would like to say that constructive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
could contribute immense benefits to us. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
one can gain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of knowledge which would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in their coming life.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v. 19

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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