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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v.18

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v. 18
It is generally accepted that we all require leisure time to recover from the hassle of works and everyday life. There are many ways individuals can spend their spare time. Few people believe the playing scrabble or reading a novel in free time is the best approach as it progresses mind, however, others believe that we should give rest to the brain. This essay will analyse both views before drawing a conclusion. On the one hand, people relax by playing sports, watching movies, playing scrabble and so on. They say that these physical and mental activities serve as a tonic and refresh them to face new challenges. For instance, people who are largely involved in indoor work like Computer Operator or Radar Operator spent most of their time in front of a computer screen and for them to go outside in fresh air, stretching their muscles, playing sports in spare time could ease the workloads and reduces mental pressures. On the other hand, few people believe that it is good to give rest to mind then involving in mind games and other physical activities. They say that taking a power nap, relaxing on a rocking chair or spending sometimes at the beach as a silent observer would help them to energise their brain and to remain healthy. For instance, people who are involved in outdoor work like cargo loader, courier delivery and so on prefer to spend their leisure time relaxing on a sofa or bed. Although the above look is a solid evidence for both sides of the argument, I personally believe that it should be up to people to decide what is best for them in leisure time that can help them to relax and remain healthy.
It is
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
that we all require leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to recover from the hassle of works and everyday life. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways individuals can spend their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
scrabble or reading a novel in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is the best approach as it progresses mind,
however
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that we should give rest to the brain. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
both views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
drawing a conclusion.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
relax by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
sports, watching movies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
scrabble and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. They say that these physical and mental activities serve as a tonic and refresh them to face new challenges.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
largely
involved in indoor work like Computer Operator or Radar Operator spent most of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in front of a computer screen and for them to go outside in fresh air, stretching their muscles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
sports in spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
the workloads and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
mental pressures.

On the other hand
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to give rest to mind then involving in mind games and other physical activities. They say that taking a power nap, relaxing on a rocking chair or spending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
at the beach as a silent observer would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
Possible spelling mistake. 'energise' is British English.
energise
their brain and to remain healthy.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
are involved
in outdoor work like cargo loader, courier delivery and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on prefer to spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
relaxing on a sofa or bed.

Although the above look is a solid evidence for both sides of the argument, I
personally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that it should be up to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to decide what is best for them in leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to relax and remain healthy.
5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v. 18

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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