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Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v.16

Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v. 16
Many people believe that it is significant using spare time for things that enhance the mind, for instance, reading and doing word puzzles. The others think that it is vital to relax the mind during spare time. In my opinion, I agree that people should use leisure time for activities which improve the mind. In one hand, some people have very exhausting jobs. Therefore, they would like to relax during leisure time, so they do not want to do anything within this time. They think they need to rest. Moreover, many people are lazy, for this reason, they do not keen to do activities to improve the mind. For instance reading a book and doing sudoku puzzles. On the other hand, many people have stressful jobs too, but they like to enhance the mind. Therefore, they do many things within leisure time such as reading a novel, solving puzzles, doing exercises which are useful for improving the mind. I think that people who utilise spare time doing activities that boost the mind are more successful than others who love to use spare time for relaxing. Finally, in my opinion, people should use their leisure time to improve the mind. For this reason, people should do anything which is useful for enhancing the mind. Moreover, ı would argue that people should be hard working not to be idle. So they always do something to be more successful. Furthermore, I think some activities are so relaxing while they improve the mind. Such as doing sudoku puzzles. In conclusion, ı agree that people should do activities that improve the mind during leisure time. because, while that they are performing activities for improving the mind, the activities can contribute to job achievement. Moreover, I think, leisure time should be used effectively since it is so precious.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is significant using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for things that enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
,
for instance
, reading and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
word puzzles. The others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that it is vital to relax the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the mind.

In one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
exhausting jobs.
Therefore
, they would like to relax during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not want to do anything within this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
they need to rest.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are lazy,
for this reason
, they do not keen to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
.
For instance
reading a book and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
sudoku
puzzles.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have stressful jobs too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they like to enhance the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
.
Therefore
, they do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things within
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
such as reading a novel, solving puzzles,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
exercises which are useful for improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
. I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that boost the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
are more successful than others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for relaxing.

Finally
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
.
For this reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do anything which is useful for enhancing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
.
Moreover
, ı would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
not to be idle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they always do something to be more successful.
Furthermore
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
relaxing while they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
. Such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
Possible spelling mistake found.
sudoku
puzzles.

In conclusion
, ı
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
, while that they are performing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
for improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mind
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
can contribute to job achievement.
Moreover
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
effectively
since it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
precious.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
64Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve the mind, such as reading and doing word puzzles. Other people feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. v. 16

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
302 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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