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Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.5

Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. v. 5
The development of a nation hugely depends on the people living within. Some people opine that individuals expending money are profitable for the country’s financial state, whereas others believe that retaining funds are more beneficial for such growth. This essay will highlight both views in detail and explain why allocating funds ultimately aids in the emerging economy of a nation. To begin with, people usually reserve cash in banks. Provided that, such organizations can easily lend capitals to other people in need to establish various small organizations or factories and escalating the income source of the impoverished masses. To cite an example, banks in Nepal grant numerous loan facilities to desirable individuals and this phenomenon has considerably mounted the economy of the country. So, people accumulating their finances in banks have a significant impact on raising the financial status of the state. Nonetheless, several businessmen spend money to build large multinational companies and organizations. This will certainly skyrocket the employment opportunities and anticipate work to many jobless people and help in mitigating financial issues. Mr. Chaudhary, one of the billionaire of Nepal, had inaugurated several organizations and factories. Thereby allotting job placements to many needy people that had a significant impact on Nepal’s economy. So, people disbursing funds aids in the development of the nation. In conclusion, I believe in this scenario in the country will be benefitted more provided that people spend money to construct businesses and distribute working options.
The development of a nation
hugely
depends on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living within.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that individuals expending money are profitable for the country’s financial state, whereas others believe that retaining funds are more beneficial for such growth. This essay will highlight both views in detail and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why allocating funds
ultimately
aids in the emerging economy of a nation.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
usually
reserve cash in banks. Provided that, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
can
easily
lend capitals to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in need to establish various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
or factories and escalating the income source of the impoverished masses. To cite an example, banks in Nepal grant numerous loan facilities to desirable individuals and this phenomenon has
considerably
mounted the economy of the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
accumulating their finances in banks have a significant impact on raising the financial status of the state.

Nonetheless, several businessmen spend money to build large multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
. This will
certainly
skyrocket the employment opportunities and anticipate work to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
jobless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in mitigating financial issues. Mr.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chaudhary
, one of the billionaire of Nepal, had inaugurated several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
and factories. Thereby allotting job placements to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that had a significant impact on Nepal’s economy.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disbursing funds aids in the development of the nation.

In conclusion
, I believe in this scenario in the country will be
Possible spelling mistake found.
benefitted
more provided that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend money to construct businesses and distribute working options.
3Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
241 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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