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Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.3

Although there is a view that spending more money has many advantages for country's economy, some people think focus should be on saving money rather than spending it. In my opinion, both of ideas are vital in boosting the economy; however, people's spending is more pivotal to nation in many aspects including more start-ups projects and job opportunities. It is believed that saving money can be advantageous in dark days, and everyone should restrain their spending. Through this people can ensure their basic future needs, for example, when they get retirement from their job or become invalid to work, they can easily utilize their spendings. Nevertheless it is well-thought in short terms, in long run this can have a huge negative effect on society. What I mean by this, today, most of the currencies are facing inflation. Such processes are just inevitable, no matter how much revenue you have, in some days its value can become like a penny. Thus, investing this money in new technologies and businesses can rescue us from being useless in long future. Spending money can be seen as a booster to society. If many people spend their earnings apart from fulfilling their necessities, new startups begin to be set up to satisfy market's demand. In turn, this leads to arise a big demand in labour force. The more people are employed, the wealthier nation becomes. Besides that, having seen such a big income-generating market, investors may get appealed, and this interest force them to subsidize a huge amount of money. This also brings about golden opportunities to expand business capabilities of society and society itself may improve their life style. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I am a firm believer spending money can stimulate economy by opening more businesses, which in turn improves life standart of nation
Although there is a view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages for country's economy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
focus should be on saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
it. In my opinion, both of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
are vital in boosting the economy;
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
is more pivotal to nation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects including more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
-ups projects and job opportunities.

It
is believed
that saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be advantageous in dark days, and everyone should restrain their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
. Through this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can ensure their basic future needs,
for example
, when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
retirement from their job or become invalid to work, they can
easily
utilize their
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
it is well-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
in short terms, in long run this can have a huge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. What I mean by this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, most of the currencies are facing inflation. Such processes are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
inevitable, no matter how much revenue you have, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
days its value can become like a penny.
Thus
, investing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in new technologies and businesses can rescue us from being useless in long future.

Spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as a booster to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. If
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend their earnings apart from fulfilling their necessities, new startups
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
be set
up to satisfy market's demand. In turn, this leads to arise a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
demand in
Possible spelling mistake. ‘labour’ is British English.
labour
force. The more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are employed
, the wealthier nation becomes.
Besides
that, having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
income-generating market, investors may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
appealed, and this interest force them to subsidize a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. This
also
brings about golden opportunities to expand business capabilities of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
itself may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
This noun is normally spelled as one word.
life style
.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, I am a firm believer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can stimulate economy by opening more businesses, which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
life
Possible spelling mistake found.
standart
of nation
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IELTS essay Some people think that it is better for a country's economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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