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ome people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

ome people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. v. 1
While it is considered by some people that spending money by people is advantageous for a state’s economy, others think that it is better to save the money people have. In my opnion, it is more beneficial to save money, as it would be crucial for people’s future. On the one hand, people spending money benefited the country’s economy. If individuals tend to buy a certain commodity or avail a certain paid public services, it would require them to pay an amount of money they have. This would be critical to boost the financial sector of the state, as state provides services in return of money paid to avail these services and goods. A recent survey by the Economics Department of London, for instance, conducted a study that a nation’s economy alone boosts up to 50%, due to the national products purchased and services availed by its public. On the other hand, the opponents of the former view says that saving money is beneficial for people and should not be spent and I agree. This is because they have earned money through several hardships and struggles, as well as the money they possess may be of a great need or rescue them in the severe circumstances, which may come later in life. People can earn money easily only at their young age, as they are able to opt for struggles, but that would not be easy in old age. Thus, saving money would be vital for their daily living expenses, and medical purposes, later in life. Research by National Corporation of Sociology, China, for example, showed a study that people who save money for their future are independent and survive far more than those who do not. In conclusion, some people are of the opinion that spending money is good for the country’s economy, as the items they purchased or services avail are, in turn, strengthening the state’s economy. However, in my view, it is more advantageous for people to save money, since it would be of great assistance to them later in life.
While it
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
advantageous for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have. In my
Possible spelling mistake found.
opnion
, it is more beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, as it would be crucial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
future.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
benefited the country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. If individuals tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a certain commodity or avail a certain paid public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
, it would require them to pay an amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they have. This would be critical to boost the financial sector of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
in return of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
paid to avail these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
. A recent survey by the Economics Department of London,
for instance
, conducted a study that a nation’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
alone boosts up to 50%, due to the national products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
availed by its public.

On the other hand
, the opponents of the former view says that saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and should not
be spent
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have earned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
through several hardships and struggles,
as well
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they possess may be of a great need or rescue them in the severe circumstances, which may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
later in life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
at their young age, as they are able to opt for struggles,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that would not be easy in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age.
Thus
, saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
would be vital for their daily living expenses, and medical purposes, later in life. Research by National Corporation of Sociology, China,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
a study that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their future are independent and survive far more than those who do not.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, as the items they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
services
avail are, in turn, strengthening the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
.
However
, in my view, it is more advantageous for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, since it would be of great assistance to them later in life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay ome people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
344 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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