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Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion v.2

Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. 2
Although, it is thought that the economy of a particular country would be benefited if having local’s consumption, other people consider savings is more favorable in several ways. In my opinion, I agree with the idea that it is beneficial for the economic system if having money circulation rather than being reserved. On the one hand, some people think spending money is a good way to boost up the economy and I agree. There are some several reasons behind this conception. First thing to take into account is that more consuming brings more sales to the companies. As its result, the economy will become wealthier as a whole. Furthermore, additional demands resulting in extra spendings encourage more products from the manufacturers. Thus, it leads to a significant increase in production as well as job creations. Additionally, since spending helps increase total incomes for the companies, they will pay more tax for the government. Consequently, the state will have sufficient budget to subsidize for public demands such as health care and infrastructure. On the other hand, a country would be benefited from saving, according to some. It might come from the perception that putting some dollars of unused funds in a bank could be useful for lending activities of the financial systems. However, this might create unexpected economic risks if the borrowers went default and unable to pay back their debts. Besides, saving money to pursue higher education or better healthcare is also noticed as benefits for the economy in terms of future high-quality workforce. In conclusion, although saving money is thought as a better solution for the economy, in my view, a country is likely to receive significant economic benefits when letting its people using their money
Although, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of a particular country would
be benefited
if having local’s consumption, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
is more favorable in several ways. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it is beneficial for the economic system if having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
circulation
rather
than
being reserved
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to boost up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
several reasons behind this conception.
First
thing to take into account is that more consuming brings more sales to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
. As its result, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
will become wealthier as a whole.
Furthermore
, additional demands resulting in extra
Possible spelling mistake found.
spendings
encourage more products from the manufacturers.
Thus
, it leads to a significant increase in production
as well
as job creations.
Additionally
, since spending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
increase total incomes for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, they will pay more tax for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
Consequently
, the state will have sufficient budget to subsidize for public demands such as health care and infrastructure.

On the other hand
, a country would
be benefited
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
. It might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the perception that putting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
dollars of unused funds in a bank could be useful for lending activities of the financial systems.
However
, this might create unexpected economic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
if the borrowers went default and unable to pay back their debts.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to pursue higher education or better healthcare is
also
noticed as benefits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
in terms of future high-quality workforce.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
as a better solution for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, in my view, a country is likely to receive significant economic benefits when letting its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
using their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Some people think that it is better for a country’s economy for people to spend money while others believe that it would be better for people to save money. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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