Search
Vocabularying
Listening
Reading
1. Academic
2. General
Writing
1. IELTSWriting Checker
2. IELTS Writing Samples
Speaking

Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.

Some people think that it is beneficial for children to do paid work, while others think that it can be harmful for children. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? v.2

Paid work for children is thought by some to be of benefit. Whereas, others consider it a hazard. I strongly believe that a child should never be allowed to work as it effects their early education, personal safety, and emotional development. Some believe recruiting and paying children will encourage hard work and discipline. They support the idea of giving money in return for their efforts, will make them financially independent from early age and will lessen the burden of their upbringing on their guardians. They are also of the opinion that children who earn early, will learn to live well and are more responsible in their future endeavors. Although, economic reasons can be cited and may look beneficial. I do not agree that children should be allowed to work because of several negative effects which are far more disastrous than the gains. For example, children who work for pay are subjected to occupational dangers which can put them in harms way. Moreover, there are high chances that they will get deprived of early education which is every child’s right. Furthermore, their constant interaction with Adults in professional capacity will also influence their future psychological development causing them to judge people in a biased manner. To conclude, I strongly believe paid jobs for children have several drawbacks which are far greater than financial benefits in terms of child’s safety, lack of early education, and emotional welfare and should never be encouraged.

Paid You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
 for You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 is This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reckonedassumedbelievedconsidered
thought
 by This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 to be of benefit. “Whereas” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whereas
, others consider it a hazard. I strongly
 believe that a child should never be This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:admissible
allowed
 to You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
 as it effects their You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpreviousfreshinitialnewrecent
early
 education, personal safety, and emotional development.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
Some
 believe recruiting and paying You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 will encourage This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :arduous
hard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
 and discipline. They support the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :thoughtconceptnotion
idea
 of giving money in return for their efforts, will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 them financially
The usual collocation for “independent” is “of”, not “from”. Did you mean “independent of”?independent of
independent from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpreviousfreshinitialnewrecent
early
 age and will lessen the burden of their upbringing on their guardians. They are also
 of the opinion that You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 who earn You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpreviousfreshinitialnewrecent
early
, will learn to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reside
live
 well and are more responsible in their future endeavors.

Although, economic reasons can be cited
 and may look beneficial. I do not This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquiesce
agree
 that You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 should be This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:admissible
allowed
 to You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:due to the factin light of the fact thatowing to the fact that
because
 of several This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:adverse
negative
 effects which are far more disastrous than the gains. For example
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 who You use this word too often, consider replacing it withtaskindustrytrialjobproductionstruggle
work
 for pay are subjected
 to occupational This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :hazardsrisks
dangers
 which can put them in harms way. Moreover
, there are high chances that they will This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 deprived of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpreviousfreshinitialnewrecent
early
 education which is every child’s right. Furthermore
, their constant interaction with Adults in professional capacity will also
 influence their future psychological development causing them to judge This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
 in a biased manner.

To conclude
, I strongly
 believe paid jobs for You use this word too often, consider replacing it withinfanttoddleradolescentjuvenileyouthteenager
children
 have several drawbacks which are far greater than financial benefits in terms of child’s safety, lack of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withpreviousfreshinitialnewrecent
early
 education, and emotional welfare and should never be encouraged
. 