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Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have very high salaries compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have very high salaries compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. v. 1
It is often argued by many that employees higher up in the organizational command chain being paid more in contrast to those lower down in command is a positive trend. I fully believe that paying CEO's and FA's more money than new recruits is completely justified. Firstly, those higher up in the hierarchy have been working for many more years than those lower down. Therefore, they offer more experience. Which means, they are more valuable to companies and have more to offer in terms of knowledge and wisdom. In addition to this, their positions require more effort and skills that they have acquired over time. For this reason they should be compensated financially for their hard duties. Furthermore, these employees usually work longer hours and take their work home. This is exemplified by Microsoft, Bill gates, the CEO of the organization, who is on duty 18 hours per day, as well as, has the most computer knowledge background as opposed to the people working underneath him. Consequently, he is paid 6 million dollars per year. Overall, it is good that employees are paid based on how much they deserve. Secondly, when junior staff see their seniors earning so much, they are encouraged to work harder to reach their positions. Creating a sense of encouragement and motivation, in turn, they become more ambitious. Although their monthly allowance is not as high, it is fair, because they know through preserverence they will climb up in the system. For instance, a world known publication in 2016, Maslows hierarchy of needs, puts self- actualization at the top of the chart, above esteem, this means that people are motivated to push forward and become recognzied, thus earning more as they go along. Overall, those in lower poistions are worthy of lower salaries. In conclusion, the reimbursement of top dog employees with bigger fortunes as opposed to new interns is an overall an advategeous progression.
It is
often
argued by
many
that
employees
higher up in the organizational command chain
being paid
more
in contrast
to those lower down in command is a
positive
trend. I
fully
believe that paying CEO's and FA's more money than new recruits is completely justified.

Firstly
, those higher up in the hierarchy have been working for
many
more years than those lower down.
Therefore
, they offer more experience. Which means, they are more valuable to
companies
and have more to offer in terms of knowledge and wisdom.
In addition
to this, their positions require more effort and
skills
that they have acquired over time.
For this reason
they should
be compensated
financially
for their
hard
duties.
Furthermore
, these
employees
usually
work longer hours and take their work home. This
is exemplified
by Microsoft,
Bill gates
, the CEO of the organization, who is on duty 18 hours per day,
as well
as, has the most computer knowledge background as opposed to the
people
working underneath him.
Consequently
, he
is paid
6 million dollars per year.
Overall
, it is
good
that
employees
are paid
based on how much they deserve.

Secondly
, when junior staff
see
their seniors earning
so
much, they
are encouraged
to work harder to reach their positions. Creating a sense of encouragement and motivation, in turn, they become more ambitious. Although their monthly allowance is not as high, it is
fair
,
because
they know through
preserverence
they will climb up in the system.
For instance
, a world known publication in 2016,
Maslows
hierarchy of needs, puts self- actualization at the top of the chart, above esteem, this means that
people
are motivated
to push forward and become
recognzied
,
thus
earning more
as
they go along.
Overall
, those in lower
poistions
are worthy of lower salaries.

In conclusion
, the reimbursement of top dog
employees
with bigger fortunes as opposed to new interns is an
overall
an
advategeous
progression.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is a good thing for senior management positions to have very high salaries compared to other workers of lower positions in the same company. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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