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It is a good thing if senior management workers in a company get a much higher salary than other workers in the same company. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is a good thing if senior management workers in a company get a much higher salary than other workers in the same company. v. 1
Senior Management plays a pivot role in getting the things done effectively in an organization. Some people concur that they should get higher salary than other employees while others oppose the said statement. I agree that salary of top management employees should also be based on other important factors rather than designation. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons to support my opinion with examples. To begin with, knowledge is the most important attribute to decide the pay of the workers of higher authority. This is because if the senior managers would have lack of knowledge in their field of work then they may not be able to encourage, inspire or motive their subordinates. For instance, Chartered Accountant cannot assist his accountant unless he, himself have proper knowledge of accounts. As a result, subordinates will not follow the rules made by their seniors. Hence, Knowledge is an essential virtue to decide management income. Furthermore, Dedication towards work is an other important factor which plays crucial role in assessing the salary of top managers. This is due to if workers of top management would not responsible towards their task then it leads to waste the company time and resources. For example, If in school, principle comes late and just sit in her office and does not evaluate the performance of teachers, then this school can not be progress. Consequently, the staff of such an organization are lazy, inefficient and undiscplined. To conclude, I would reiterate my opinion, salary is very important factor to motivate the employee but it should not be based on poistion only, other factors such as dedication, honesty, punctuality and problem solving skills should also be considered.
Senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Management
plays a pivot role in getting the things done
effectively
in an organization.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
concur that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
employees while others oppose the said statement. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
employees should
also
be based
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
rather
than designation. In this essay, I will discuss the reasons to support my opinion with examples.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
is the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
attribute to decide the pay of the workers of higher authority. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if the senior managers would have lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
in their field of work then they may not be able to encourage, inspire or motive their subordinates.
For instance
, Chartered Accountant cannot assist his accountant unless he, himself have proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of accounts.
As a result
, subordinates will not follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
made by their seniors.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Knowledge
is an essential virtue to decide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
income.

Furthermore
, Dedication towards work is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
which plays crucial role in assessing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
of top managers. This is due to if workers of top
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
would not responsible towards their task then it leads to waste the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
time and resources.
For example
, If in school, principle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
late and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sit in her office and does not evaluate the performance of teachers, then this school can not be progress.
Consequently
, the staff of such an organization are lazy, inefficient and
Possible spelling mistake found.
undiscplined
.

To conclude
, I would reiterate my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
to motivate the employee
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should not
be based
on
Possible spelling mistake found.
poistion
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
such as dedication, honesty, punctuality and problem solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
should
also
be considered
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay It is a good thing if senior management workers in a company get a much higher salary than other workers in the same company. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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