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Some people think that it is a good idea of all employees to wear uniform at work. To what extent so you agree or disagree. v.1

Some people think that it is a good idea of all employees to wear uniform at work. v. 1
It is believed that wrongdoing rate can be reduced by using cutting-edge technology. I agree with this view. Installing cameras on the roads, using biometric in offices and mobile location records can prove to be very effective in cut down the crime rate. To begin with, people do scandal as they believe nobody is watching them. However, if government bodies install camera on the road and various famous places this can help in reducing law violation. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey from The Times of India, The violation rate in Delhi has been reduced after the Delhi government installed two million cameras in public places. Another essential point is people do corruption as they have an opinion that they cannot be caught. For example, in companies, people often come late and mark their regular attendance. However, if companies replaced regular attendance register from biometric, no one would be able to change into these entries and corruption can be reduced. Finally, individuals are involved in various crimes and shows that, they were not present on crime spot, although if police uses mobile locations and can prove if the suspect is lying. To exemplify, crime investigation agencies now start using mobile location data to solve cases, which helps them to solve cases easily and it helps into reduced wrongdoing as people know they can get caught. To conclude, reducing violation is one of the biggest challenges currently facing by various agencies, though I believe this can be reduced by using various high-tech technologies such as installing cameras on the road and public places, replaced physical attendance registers with biometric in various offices and using mobile location records of suspects.
It
is believed
that wrongdoing rate can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
by using cutting-edge technology. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this view. Installing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
on the roads, using biometric in offices and mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
location
records can prove to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do scandal as they believe nobody is watching them.
However
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
bodies install
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
camera
on the road and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
places this can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in reducing law violation. To illustrate with an example, according to a survey from The Times of India, The violation rate in Delhi has been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
after the Delhi
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
installed two million
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
in public places.

Another essential point is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do corruption as they have an opinion that they cannot
be caught
.
For example
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
late and mark their regular attendance.
However
, if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
replaced regular attendance register from biometric, no one would be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
into these entries and corruption can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
.

Finally
, individuals
are involved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that, they were not present on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
spot, although if police
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locations
and can prove if the suspect is lying. To exemplify,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
investigation agencies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
location
data to solve cases, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to solve cases
easily
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
wrongdoing as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
caught.

To conclude
, reducing violation is one of the biggest challenges
currently
facing by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
agencies, though I believe this can be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reduced
by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
high-tech technologies such as installing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cameras
on the road and public places, replaced physical attendance registers with biometric in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
offices and using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
location
records of suspects.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that it is a good idea of all employees to wear uniform at work. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
281 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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