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TPO-31- Independent Writing TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the pastUse specific reasons and examples to s v.1

TPO-31- Independent Writing Task Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the pastUse specific reasons and examples to s v. 1
In about 2-3 recent years, financial autonomy is a rising trend amongst schools, especially university. With a limited income from teaching activities and no more financial support from the government, universities are now considering allowing advertisements in their buildings. I think it is a good idea because of these justifications below: Firstly, Allowing advertisements does not cause disadvantages or harm to schools, students and teachers. Companies often the first one to approach and give an offer to board of university about having their advertisements hanging on walls, etc. Everything universities have to do is prepare a space - which they already have - to hang posters. This procedure does not waste time, money or affect studying activities. Moreover, advertisements contribute a huge fund to school budget. With the profits, which schools get, students can have better equipment, more subject programmes to improve themselves. This is one important factor of enhancing class quality, but it will not be implemented without the fund that advertisements contributed. Thirdly, students can get advantages from those advertisements. Usually, most of the posters in universities have course and job relate news such as scholarships, recruitments, etc. . Thanks for such information, students have a chance to challenge themselves or even study abroad or get a job. In conclusion, I agree with the notion of having advertisements in schools because it not only dissolved the fact of tight budget, but also benefits students in many aspects (study quality and the chance to develop themselves). But to make clear, universities should carefully check the ads and only accept ads which is beneficial to students.
In about 2-3 recent years, financial autonomy is a rising trend amongst
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
especially
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. With a limited income from teaching activities and no more financial support from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
considering allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in their buildings. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of these justifications below:

Firstly
, Allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
does not cause disadvantages or harm to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and teachers.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
the
first
one to approach and give an offer to board of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
about having their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
hanging on walls, etc. Everything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do is prepare a space
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
which they already have
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
to hang posters. This procedure does not waste time, money or affect studying activities.

Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
contribute a huge fund to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
budget. With the profits, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can have better equipment, more subject
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves. This is one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factor of enhancing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
quality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will not
be implemented
without the fund that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
contributed.

Thirdly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advantages from those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
.
Usually
, most of the posters in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
have course and job relate news such as scholarships, recruitments, etc.
Two consecutive dots
.
Thanks for such information,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have a chance to challenge themselves or even study abroad or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a job.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion of having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
dissolved the fact of tight budget,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
benefits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects (study quality and the chance to develop themselves).
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should
carefully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the ads and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
accept ads which is beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-31- Independent Writing Task Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the pastUse specific reasons and examples to s v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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