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If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v.2

If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v. 2
In contemporary life, people in many parts of the world are able to do their shopping, work and interaction through the internet. One way, there are clear positive aspects of this trend, another way, there are also negative aspects of having less direct contact. On the one hand, the internet makes the distance seem to become narrow that means people can have a conversation and discuss anytime and anywhere. It improves business interactions and transactions like online shopping, thus saving time and petrol on trips to the supermarket as well as hunting around different sites for bargains. Moreover, the user can keep in touch with friends and family by using social media to send instant messages or to enjoy moments base on captured various pictures, videos that people had experience in their life feeding the instagram. Beside that, it is potential in the terms of work, more and more people tend to work and studying from home because of their own schedules or in some emergency situations such as pandemic outbreak. On the other hand, the humanity needs personal contacts. Firstly, buying something online is not always appreciated because it does not know the real quality exactly. For instance, to fit the body, that need to try on clothes and to know what is fabrics which required own feeling when they touch it before purchasing decision. Secondly, virtual friendship which make with the social media may not be like as an image. So that people fall victims to strangers. Finally, direct interaction with colleagues switch ideas together without misunderstanding. In conclusion, although it is convenient on the technological sides by using the agthorithms. However, the face-to-face connection also has a lot problems about the virtual world.
In contemporary life,
people
in
many
parts of the world are able to do their shopping, work and interaction through the internet. One way, there are
clear
positive
aspects of this trend, another way, there are
also
negative
aspects of having less direct contact.

On the one hand, the internet
makes
the distance seem to become narrow that means
people
can have a conversation and discuss anytime and anywhere. It
improves
business interactions and transactions like online shopping,
thus
saving time and petrol on trips to the supermarket
as well
as hunting around
different
sites for bargains.
Moreover
, the user can
keep
in touch with friends and family by using social media to
send
instant messages or to enjoy moments base on captured various pictures, videos that
people
had experience in their life feeding the
instagram
. Beside that, it is potential in the terms of work, more and more
people
tend to work and studying from home
because
of their
own
schedules or in
some
emergency situations such as pandemic outbreak.

On the other hand
, the humanity needs personal contacts.
Firstly
, buying something online is not always appreciated
because
it does not know the real quality exactly.
For instance
, to fit the body, that need to try on clothes and to know what is fabrics which required
own
feeling when they touch it
before
purchasing decision.
Secondly
, virtual friendship which
make
with the social media may not be like as an image.
So that
people
fall victims to strangers.
Finally
, direct interaction with colleagues switch
ideas
together without misunderstanding.

In conclusion
, although it is convenient on the technological sides by using the
agthorithms
.
However
, the face-to-face connection
also
has
a lot problems
about the virtual world.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay If you could change one important thing about your hometown, what would you change? Use reasons and specific examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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