Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that introducing new technology can improve people’s quality of life in developing countries. However, others believe that free education should be offered. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people think that introducing new technology can improve people’s quality of life in developing countries. However, others believe that free education should be offered. 1
Some people think that introducing new technology can improve people’s quality of life in developing countries. However, others believe that free education should be offered. Discuss both views and give opinion. People have different views about how to enhance life quality in under-developed countries. While some argue that this aim would be achieved by having technological advancements, I believe that providing free access to schools would be a better choice. On the one hand, there are many reasons why it can be argued that state-of-the-art technologies would make a significant contribution to improving the quality of life. The first reason is that medical technology innovations could help save human lives, improve health and bring a happy life. For example, thanks to the emergence of artificial organs and robotic prosthetic limbs, disabled people can work normally and even can play sports. Another reason is that advances in automotive technology could help reduce the need for manual work, enhancing productivity. For instance, nowadays housewives with the help of washing machines, electric stoves could cut household chores and have more quality time with their family members. On the other hand, I am of the opinion that improvement in the quality of human living would be achieved more effectively through providing free education. Firstly, in Third World countries, there remain a considerable number of underprivileged children, and if they were provided with free entry to schools, they could have the chance to shake off the poverty and have a more comfortable life. Since courses would offer children necessary knowledge and skills, they will easily get secure employment which allows them to earn a living and provide for their families. Secondly, more and more citizens would be encouraged to study further, and some of them might become authorities in the future whose decisions could impact the society in general. They could implement proper policies that help tackle the problems of diseases or crimes effectively, thus ensuring a better life for people. In conclusion, although I acknowledge that people could reap many benefits from technological innovations, I would contend that in order to improve life quality, it is better to offer citizens educational programs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that introducing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
.
However
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
education should
be offered
. Discuss both views and give opinion.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about how to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
in under-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that this aim would
be achieved
by having technological advancements, I believe that providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
access to schools would be a better choice.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why it can
be argued
that state-of-the-art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a significant contribution to improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. The
first
reason is that medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
innovations could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
save human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
health and bring a happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
, thanks to the emergence of artificial organs and robotic prosthetic limbs, disabled
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can work
normally
and even can play sports. Another reason is that advances in automotive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the need for manual work, enhancing productivity.
For instance
, nowadays housewives with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of washing machines, electric stoves could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
household chores and have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
time with their family members.

On the other hand
, I am of the opinion that improvement in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
of human living would
be achieved
more
effectively
through providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
education.
Firstly
, in Third World countries, there remain a considerable number of underprivileged children, and if they
were provided
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
entry to schools, they could have the chance to shake off the poverty and have a more comfortable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. Since courses would offer children necessary knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, they will
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
secure employment which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to earn a living and provide for their families.
Secondly
, more and more citizens would
be encouraged
to study
further
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them might become authorities in the future whose decisions could impact the society
in general
. They could implement proper policies that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
tackle the problems of diseases or crimes
effectively
,
thus
ensuring a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In conclusion
, although I acknowledge that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could reap
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits from technological innovations, I would contend that in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quality
, it is better to offer citizens educational programs.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that introducing new technology can improve people’s quality of life in developing countries. However, others believe that free education should be offered. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
358 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts