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Some people think that internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are becomes more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.4

Some people think that internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are becomes more isolated. v. 4
Over a decade now, technology has improved progressively and effectively. While some people argue that the people around the globe are getting separated from each other, I would strongly agree with the notion of technology acting as the communication medium all around. Firstly, technology has changed the life of the people adversely as they have started overusing technology in their day-to-day life, and they have started getting dependent on it more than anything else. This has, moreover, led to scenarios where people are getting less interaction with the humans around because of which they remain cut-off from the society. In UK, for instance, it has been observed that people hardly interact with their neighbors; as a result they have developed a surrounding where no one cares about the person staying next door. Furthermore, these people feel that stepping ahead and talking to someone without a purpose is squandering their time. Thus, to these supporters, living without interacting with people around makes the group excluded. Others, however, including me, assert that the use of emerging technologies has brought the world closer, as they can get in touch with their friends and family with just a click. Additionally, since the time internet has evolved, it has become a crucial connection medium for all types of business because they can get their clients from far distances which is just a click away. It has, nevertheless, helped in boosting the economy of countries by providing a platform for companies to work and a format for the public to get connected, anytime and anywhere. Unlike the times when people had to struggle to connect with their dear ones and work outside their proximity, the internet is serving as a blessing for today’s generation people to work according to their capability and to link with their loved ones. In conclusion, although the internet has been playing a vital role in the communication between two or more people sitting long distances, being at a personal or professional level; it has also resulted in diminishing physical-social communication between humans due to excess use of it. Hence, I firmly believe that we should leverage the presence of the internet in our lives, provided that the screen time is limited to the required use and curb the extra time to spend on it.
Over a decade
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
progressively
and
effectively
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the globe are getting separated from each other, I would
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
acting as the communication medium all around.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the life of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
adversely
as they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
overusing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in their day-to-day life, and they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
getting dependent on it more than anything else. This has,
moreover
, led to scenarios where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting less interaction with the humans around
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they remain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
-off from the society. In UK,
for instance
, it has
been observed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
hardly interact with their neighbors;
as a result
they have developed a surrounding where no one cares about the person staying
next
door.
Furthermore
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that stepping ahead and talking to someone without a purpose is squandering their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Thus
, to these supporters, living without interacting with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the group excluded.

Others,
however
, including me, assert that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of emerging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
has brought the world closer, as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with their friends and family with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click.
Additionally
, since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
internet has evolved, it has become a crucial connection medium for all types of business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their clients from far distances which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a click away. It has,
nevertheless
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in boosting the economy of countries by providing a platform for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to work and a format for the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
connected, anytime and anywhere. Unlike the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
had to struggle to connect with their dear ones and work outside their proximity, the internet is serving as a blessing for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s generation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to work according to their capability and to link with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
ones.

In conclusion
, although the internet has been playing a vital role in the communication between two or more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
sitting long distances, being at a personal or professional level; it has
also
resulted in diminishing physical-social communication between humans due to excess
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of it.
Hence
, I
firmly
believe that we should leverage the presence of the internet in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, provided that the screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is limited
to the required
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
and curb the extra
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend on it.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people think that internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are becomes more isolated. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
383 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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