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Some people think that the Internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are becoming more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.4

Some people think that the Internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are becoming more isolated. v. 4
Although it is sometimes thought that people has become muchal closer to each other with the advent of internet, other individuals believe that people are getting more and more separated and lonely. In my opinion, I considered that Internet has made is detached from the society and real life. On the one hand, it is often believe that Internet helps people become connected to one another. It is very easy and cheap to keep in touch with people any time that we need. Firma example, those people who are living in remote areas, such as villages far from urban places, are able to get familiar with recent developments and stay in touch with their relatives or friends living in cities. Furthermore, with the help of Internet education is available for every one. In other words, people have the opportunity to get quality distance education despite the fact that they live in distant places. Moreover, the disabled got isolated from the society and had few people to talk to before the advent of Internet. Now, their is any boundaries firma them to get involved in the society and they can feel themselves a partiya of community bu communicating with people via Internet. On the other hand, according to some, people have been getting more and more isolated from each other since the Internet was invented and In agree. In other words, people are becoming depended in their social network to get on well with anyone they need, which lack of face to face communication. For instance, nowadays, hardly ever do people find time to visit their parents or friends, instead they prefer to ask after them by just texting on their social accounts. This, undeniably, leads to us being reluctant to speak to the people around us and ignorant to other people's problems as people have very few live conversations and cannot feel inner voice of individuals. Besides, people are becoming more and more agressive since the Internet fills our brain with plethora of unnecessary information. As a consequence, people develop ignorance and make themselves and others feel isolated by not paying attention closely. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I think that Internet made us less sociable, which causes disconnection to each other and to the society.
Although it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
become
Possible spelling mistake found.
muchal
closer to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
with the advent of internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
individuals believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting more and more separated and lonely. In my opinion, I considered that Internet has made
is detached
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and real life.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believe that Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become connected to one another. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
any time that we need.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Firma
example, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are living in remote areas, such as villages far from urban places, are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
familiar with recent developments and stay in touch with their relatives or friends living in cities.
Furthermore
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of Internet education is available for every one. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
quality distance education despite the fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in distant places.
Moreover
, the disabled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
isolated from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and had few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to talk to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the advent of Internet.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
,
Did you mean "there"?
their
is any boundaries
Possible spelling mistake found.
firma
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
society and
they can feel themselves a
Possible spelling mistake found.
partiya
of community
Make sure that 'bu' is an abbreviation (bureau, bushel). Did you mean "by", "but", "bug", or "bus"?
bu
communicating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
via Internet.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, according to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have been getting more and more isolated from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
since the Internet
was invented
and In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming depended in their social network to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
on well with anyone they need, which lack of face to face communication.
For instance
, nowadays, hardly ever do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find time to visit their parents or friends,
instead
they prefer to ask after them by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
texting on their social accounts. This,
undeniably
, leads to us being reluctant to speak to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us and ignorant to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's problems as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
conversations and cannot feel inner voice of individuals.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are becoming more and more
Possible spelling mistake found.
agressive
since the Internet fills our brain with plethora of unnecessary information. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
develop ignorance and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
feel isolated by not paying attention
closely
.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that Internet made us less sociable, which causes disconnection to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
28Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
A special kind of beauty exists which is born in language, of language, and for language.
Gaston Bachelard

IELTS essay Some people think that the Internet has brought people closer together while others think that people and communities are becoming more isolated. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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