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Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge. v.7

Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v. 7
Undoubtedly, everyone will agree that smoking is injurious to health. Both active and passive smokers are affected due to the smoke of cigarette. Hence, many people have an opinion to ban smoking in public area. This essay will explain my position to fully agree with this idea. One of the prominent reasons is if this ban is imposed, people’s well-being will improve. Asthma and short breath are common diseases diagnosed in smokers and people around them. This can be reduced as the smokers will have to go in private, reducing the number of times he/she smokes. Moreover, the family members or dear ones will also be in a less smoky area helping them to improve their health. A good example of this is, Information Technology (I. T. ) professionals are usually observed to go for a smoke break with their working-peers, where even non-smokers participate. As a result, both the groups have a detrimental effect on their health whereas this restriction will not allow them to smoke outside and will result in maintaining their health. Another reason to support the idea is this prohibition will promote smokers to stop smoking. Although many people try to quit smoking, they are unable to achieve because of easy accessibility and availability. While this law imposed people will not be allowed in social and thus will decrease the number of cigarettes an individual smoked in each day. Recent surveys conducted by the Human Health Department, India, show that 80% of the smoking population tries to quit at least once in their lifetime, however, they are unable to achieve. However, this law will help them reduce or quit because even the sellers will have to abide by the rule. To conclude, restriction of smoking publicly helps both the smoker as well as the non-smokers through improving their energy and by reducing the number of cigarettes and individual smokes. I believe the government should incorporate long-run rules and run campaigns so that citizens will be aware of the consequences. Consecutively, it will improve well-being index of the country.
Undoubtedly
, everyone will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is injurious to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. Both active and passive smokers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
of cigarette.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have an opinion to ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
in public area. This essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
my position to
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

One of the prominent reasons is if this ban
is imposed
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
well-being will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
. Asthma and short breath are common diseases diagnosed in smokers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around them. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
as the smokers will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go in private, reducing the number of times he/she
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smokes
.
Moreover
, the family members or dear ones will
also
be in a less smoky area helping them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is, Information Technology (I. T.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
professionals are
usually
observed to go for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
break with their working-peers, where even non-smokers participate.
As a result
, both the groups have a detrimental effect on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
whereas this restriction will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoke
outside and will result in maintaining their health.

Another reason to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
is this prohibition will promote smokers to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try to quit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, they are unable to achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of easy accessibility and availability. While this law imposed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
in social and
thus
will decrease the number of cigarettes an individual smoked in each day. Recent surveys conducted by the Human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Health
Department, India,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that 80% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
population tries to quit at least once in their lifetime,
however
, they are unable to achieve.
However
, this law will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
or quit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
even the sellers will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
abide by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
.

To conclude
, restriction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
publicly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
both the smoker
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
the non-smokers through improving their energy and by reducing the number of cigarettes and individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smokes
. I believe the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should incorporate long-run
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and run campaigns
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that citizens will be aware of the consequences.
Consecutively
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
well-being index of the country.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Smoking not only harms the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
342 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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