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Topic: International travel can make people prejudiced rather than broad minded. Why people fail to benefit when they travel? What we can do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit? It is true that foreign travellers nowadays have a bias v.2

Topic: International travel can make people prejudiced rather than broad minded. Why people fail to benefit when they travel? What we can do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit? It is true that foreign travellers nowadays have a bias v. 2
Firstly, foreign tourists have a prejudment when they travel must be due to the lacking of critical thinking skills. They just see one side of an issue and they have no thinking positive sides. To solve this problem, people are encouraged to learn about critical thinking skills. In particularly, students at schools or universities should be taught intensely. For example, those should be provided more subjects using critical skills like debates or writing essays. As a result, they will perceive the world more fairly. Secondly, the cause leading to have a bias when people travel abroad would be cultural shocks. This is because they have never seen these foreign cultures, and these are completely new for them. Therefore, that make people fell down in feeling and take a comparison with their own countries. In this situation, previewing the culture of foreign countries before traveling could bring effective results to visitors. For instance, travellers should read more handbooks about cultures and exprience of famous trvellers. As a consequence, people are well-prepared and they are likely to accept new things. Finally, the last reason for this problem is that these visitors cannot fully understand the issue because they cannot speak foreign language. This means that they cannot communicate with other people and cannot understand the full sides. To address this problem, many people in the world are encouraged to study foreign language before they travel. In particularly, it is English language, because English are widely used in many coutries. Consequently, they can understand the foreigners when they have to know somthing. In conclusion, it is clear that there are different reasons for travelling foreign countries with falling out of the benefits and possible approaches should be considered to takle this problem.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
tourists have a
Possible spelling mistake found.
prejudment
when they travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be due to the lacking of critical thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
one side of an
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
issue and
they have no thinking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
sides. To solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are encouraged
to learn about critical thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. In
particularly
, students at schools or universities should
be taught
intensely
.
For example
, those should
be provided
more subjects using critical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like debates or writing essays.
As a result
, they will perceive the world more
fairly
.

Secondly
, the cause leading to have a bias when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel abroad would be cultural shocks. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
cultures, and these are completely new for them.
Therefore
, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
fell down in feeling and take a comparison with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
countries. In this situation, previewing the culture of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
traveling could bring effective results to visitors.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
should read more handbooks about cultures and
Possible spelling mistake found.
exprience
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
trvellers
. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
well-prepared and
they are likely to accept new things.

Finally
, the last reason for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
is that these visitors cannot
fully
understand the issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they cannot speak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
language. This means that they cannot communicate with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and cannot understand the full sides. To address this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world
are encouraged
to study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
language
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they travel. In
particularly
, it is English language,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
English are
widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
coutries
.
Consequently
, they can understand the foreigners when they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
know
Possible spelling mistake found.
somthing
.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons for travelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
countries with falling out of the benefits and possible approaches should
be considered
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
takle
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Topic: International travel can make people prejudiced rather than broad minded. Why people fail to benefit when they travel? What we can do to improve their understanding of the countries they visit? It is true that foreign travellers nowadays have a bias v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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