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Some people think that international car free- day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that international car free- day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. v. 1
Environmental pollution is a major concern in today’s society. While few people believe international car-free day could mitigate air pollution and others argue that there are more productive ways, in my opinion, there are various other ways to alleviate these issues. On the one hand, celebrating world car-free day would not only curb pollution to some extent but it also encourages people to identify various other means of transport. People who have not tried the public transport would experience it and they would get to know the comfort in using them. Besides, the roads which are congested due to heavy traffic would deteriorate making the commuters easy to travel. Apart from this, it not only decreases car accidents but it also increases social interaction among individuals. Moreover, the physical activity among masses increases helping them improve the health and well-being of residents. Subsequently, the air and noise pollution can be controlled. On the other hand, there are various other factors to arrest the air pollution. The government should encourage people to use the renewable resources like solar instead of fuel, if sustained, improve the quality of air. Besides, to attract more and more commuters, the officials should reduce the fares of public transport so that the usage of private vehicles diminishes. Moreover, the government should stop permissions to build any more industries as the poisonous gases released from them pollute the nature. Also, the officials should make periodic checks on these industries and impose heavy fines or cancellation of the contract for those not abiding the rules. Seen in this light, all these factors contribute in controlling the air pollution. In conclusion, although few people argue that world car-free day could control air pollution and few of them debate there are other ways; I believe various other factors sum up in curbing the air pollution.
Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
is a major concern in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s society. While few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe international car-free day could mitigate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
argue that there are more productive ways, in my opinion, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways to alleviate these issues.

On the one hand, celebrating world car-free day would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
curb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to identify
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
means of transport.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who have not tried the public transport would experience
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
it and
they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know the comfort in using them.
Besides
, the roads which
are congested
due to heavy traffic would deteriorate making the commuters easy to travel. Apart from this, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
decreases car accidents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
increases social interaction among individuals.
Moreover
, the physical activity among masses increases helping them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the health and well-being of residents.
Subsequently
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and noise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
can
be controlled
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors to arrest the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the renewable resources like solar
instead
of fuel, if sustained,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
.
Besides
, to attract more and more commuters, the officials should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the fares of public transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the usage of private vehicles diminishes.
Moreover
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
permissions to build any more industries as the poisonous gases released from them pollute the nature.
Also
, the officials should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
periodic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
checks
on these industries and impose heavy fines or cancellation of the contract for those not abiding the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Seen
in this light, all these factors contribute in controlling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
pollution.

In conclusion
, although few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that world car-free day could control
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and few of them debate there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways; I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors sum up in curbing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
29Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
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IELTS essay Some people think that international car free- day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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