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Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways do to this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.5

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways do to this. v. 5
A variety of human activities in urban areas which result in gas emissions has been a serious environmental problem nowadays. Hence, its best solution is uncertain whether a world car-free day can be the most appropriate way to cut air pollution or not and there are valid arguments on both sides, which I will discuss here. On the one hand, a car-free zone can lower pollutants in the air effectively as car emissions are the main source of this issue in big cities. For instance, most people in Jakarta use private transportation as a mode of their daily transport, with the result that they have polluted the air. It is often said that city dwellers have been depending on vehicles to move, to travel or to go to work, so that the air quality in the cities is very poor and unhealthy. Another reason is this action or policy can raise awareness of drivers or riders to give up their automobile when they pass a short route. Citizens, therefore, cycle or walk if these are possible to be done in a certain distance such as shopping. Moreover, people can be educated to maintain a healthy lifestyle by walking or cycling in a car-free day. On the other hand, the consumption of renewable energy in the factories is a proper manner to create the healthy air quality now that cars or motorcycles are not only source as dangerous gasses or toxic substances in the atmosphere and even chemicals from factories play a crucial role in air pollution, For instance, the coal-fire power plant. This activity has been concerned in the 21st century since more and more Industries consume the burning of fossil fuel and emit particulates into the Earth's atmosphere. To conclude, a car-free day is one of the proper ways to solve the problem of air pollution and also that is able to teach healthy lives to cities’ societies. However, using the alternative energy is the best way to reduce the gaseous air pollutants because of gases from factories.
A variety of human activities in urban areas which result in gas emissions has been a serious environmental problem nowadays.
Hence
, its best solution is uncertain whether a world car-free day can be the most appropriate way to
cut
air
pollution or not and there are valid arguments on both sides, which I will discuss here.

On the one hand, a car-free zone can lower pollutants in the
air
effectively
as car emissions are the main source of this issue in
big
cities
.
For instance
, most
people
in Jakarta
use
private transportation as a mode of their daily transport, with the result that they have polluted the
air
. It is
often
said that city dwellers have been depending on vehicles to
move
, to travel or to go to work,
so
that the
air
quality in the
cities
is
very
poor and unhealthy. Another reason is this action or policy can raise awareness of drivers or riders to give up their automobile when they pass a short route. Citizens,
therefore
, cycle or walk if these are possible to
be done
in a certain distance such as shopping.
Moreover
,
people
can
be educated
to maintain a healthy lifestyle by walking or cycling in a car-free day.

On the other hand
, the consumption of renewable energy in the factories is a proper manner to create the healthy
air
quality
now
that cars or motorcycles are not
only
source as
dangerous
gasses or toxic substances in the atmosphere and even chemicals from factories play a crucial role in
air
pollution,
For instance
, the coal-fire power plant. This activity has
been concerned
in the 21st century since more and more Industries consume the burning of fossil fuel and emit particulates into the Earth's atmosphere.

To conclude
, a car-free day is one of the proper ways to solve the problem of
air
pollution and
also
that is
able to teach healthy
lives
to
cities’
societies.
However
, using the alternative energy is the best way to
reduce
the gaseous
air
pollutants
because
of gases from factories.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways do to this. v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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