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University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v.7

University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v. 7
A growing number of students are opting foreign country for their tertiary studies. Although there are various benefits of studying abroad, such as getting high pay salary when they return to their home country and getting a chance to settle down in abroad, there are few drawbacks i. e. expensive education along with difficult living conditions. In my opinion studying abroad opens new avenue and certainly outweigh the disadvantage. The first advantage of studying abroad is that the foreign qualified individuals while coming back to their home country often gets high remuneration jobs. This is because the local employers believe that the quality of education is far better in abroad. So, to attract them, they offer higher pay. For example, a recent study of global consultancy E & Y suggested that in 2018 the average annual salary of foreign qualified graduates was 60% higher than local university graduates. Another benefit of studying abroad is that the majority of the countries offer permanent residency to the international students and subsequently citizenship after spending a few more years. Thus making more favourable option for international student to study abroad. On the other hand, studying in a foreign land would cost an individual much higher. To elaborate this, a student needs to pay full tuition fees, accommodation charges and flight cost which eventually will cost him more For instance, one recent study suggest that the average cost of two years master program in one of the famous study destination Australia is 90, 000 Australian dollars, which is more expensive than if one study in his home country. In addition, living far away from home is also quite challenging as one can easily feel home-sickness and one has to do all his work like cooking, laundry and cleaning toilets which most of the individuals does not do in their home country. For this reason, the majority of the students become reluctant to go abroad. In conclusion, University students are increasingly studying abroad as their part of the studies. While there are various problem studying in overseas universities like higher cost and hectic living conditions, but the advantages like higher salary in their native country and chances of obtaining permanent residence and citizenship will motivate them to pursue their tertiary education in a foreign land.
A growing number of
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students
are opting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
for their tertiary
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studies
. Although there are various benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, such as getting high pay salary when they return to their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and getting a chance to settle down in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
, there are few drawbacks
There should be no space here: "i.e.".
i. e.
expensive education along with difficult living conditions. In my opinion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
opens new avenue and
certainly
outweigh the disadvantage.

The
first
advantage of
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studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
qualified individuals while coming back to their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
high remuneration jobs. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the local employers believe that the quality of education is far better in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, to attract them, they offer higher pay.
For example
, a recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
of global consultancy E & Y suggested that in 2018 the average annual salary of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
qualified graduates was 60% higher than local university graduates. Another benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
is that the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
offer permanent residency to the international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and
subsequently
citizenship after spending a few more years.
Thus
making more
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourable' is British English.
favourable
option for international
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student
to
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study
abroad.

On the other hand
,
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studying
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
land would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
an individual much higher. To elaborate this, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
needs to pay full tuition fees, accommodation charges and flight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
which
eventually
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
him more
For instance
, one recent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
suggest that the average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
of two years master program in one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
destination Australia is 90, 000 Australian dollars, which is more expensive than if one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in his home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
In addition
, living far away from home is
also
quite challenging as one can
easily
feel home-sickness and one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do all his work like cooking, laundry and cleaning toilets which most of the individuals does not do in their home
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For this reason
, the majority of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
become reluctant to go abroad.

In conclusion
, University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
increasingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abroad
as their part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
. While there are various
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "problems"?
problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
in overseas universities like higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cost
and hectic living conditions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the advantages like higher salary in their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and chances of obtaining permanent residence and citizenship will motivate them to pursue their tertiary education in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
land.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay University students are increasingly studying abroad as part of their studies. Do the advantages of studying abroad outweigh the disadvantages? v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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