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Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.24

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. v. 24
Global climate change has posed a considerable threat to life on Earth over the last few years. While many people argue that living with it is inevitable, I believe that this is wrong and that we should find ways to tackle the problem. There are several measurements humanity can take to mitigate adverse effects on climate change. Firstly, governments and individuals could help to reduce a substantial(considerable) amount of carbon dioxide emissions that lead to global warming by using public means of transportation such as buses or subway trains instead of personal vehicles. Secondly, to restore the balance of O2 and CO2 proportion in the atmosphere, authorities, along with the help of the citizens, could grow more trees in urban and barren areas. Finally, renewable energy technologies such as solar, wind, or tidal wave energy should be developed and widely implemented in industrial production and daily activities. This measurement would eventually curb carbon dioxide emissions by a significant amount and therefore prevent the greenhouse effect from getting worse. On the other hand, living with the current problem might lead to some severe consequences. First of all, rising temperatures have already worsened extreme weather events. For example, recent severe heat waves have caused deaths to thousands of people in countries such as India, and France, which is why we should address this issue urgently to avoid similar incidents shortly. Besides, global climate change has already negatively affected natural habitats of various species on Earth. Typical examples of this problem could be the shrinking territories of polar bears and penguins due to increased ice thawing in regions of both poles of the Earth or deaths of numerous coral reefs due to warmer seawater temperature. In conclusion, I believe that it is unacceptable to live with the current state of climate change; and we should instead come up with solutions for this serious problem.
Global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
has posed a considerable threat to life on Earth over the last few years. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that living with it is inevitable, I believe that this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and that we should find ways to tackle the problem.

There are several
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "measurements'" or "measurement's"?
measurements
humanity can take to mitigate adverse effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and individuals could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
a substantial(considerable) amount of carbon dioxide emissions that lead to global warming by using public means of transportation such as buses or subway trains
instead
of personal vehicles.
Secondly
, to restore the balance of O2 and CO2 proportion in the atmosphere, authorities, along with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of the citizens, could grow more trees in urban and barren areas.
Finally
, renewable energy technologies such as solar, wind, or tidal wave energy should
be developed
and
widely
implemented in industrial production and daily activities. This measurement would
eventually
curb carbon dioxide emissions by a significant amount and
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the greenhouse effect from getting worse.

On the other hand
, living with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
problem might lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
severe consequences.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, rising temperatures have already worsened extreme weather
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.
For example
, recent severe heat waves have caused deaths to thousands of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in countries such as India, and France, which is why we should address this issue
urgently
to avoid similar incidents shortly.
Besides
, global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
has already
negatively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
natural habitats of various species on Earth. Typical examples of this problem could be the shrinking territories of polar bears and penguins due to increased ice thawing in regions of both poles of the Earth or deaths of numerous coral reefs due to warmer seawater temperature.

In conclusion
, I believe that it is unacceptable to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
state of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
; and we should
instead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with solutions for this serious problem.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. v. 24

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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