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some people think that instead of preventing climate change. We need to find a way to live with it. to what extent do you agree 9or0 disagree. v.1

some people think that instead of preventing climate change. We need to find a way to live with it. v. 1
Nowadays earth is facing rapid difference in atmosphere. Some people think that we should adopt that change instead of take steps against it. I completely disagree with given statement, and this essay will argue why we should do something to prevent variation in climate. There are uncountable peoples lives on our planet. Although there are some people who can acclimatize themselves to change in the temperature, but there are also numerous persons who cannot do this. Babies can not tolerate instant variation in temperature, and they could get sick of that. For example, recent research conducted by University of Alberta shows that due to the abrupt augmentation of sodium in the river caused death of many marine creatures. In addition to this, The mortality rate in wildlife has raised significantly because of lack of availability of food. Melting icebergs on poles, raising the level of water, so some areas of land are getting drowned, and due to that, humans have to seek another place to live. Luckily, if we will be able to live with this change, it would not last long. People will start to fight with each other because of inadequate resources. Animals will die and land for cultivation will be not available. There will be almost no possibility to recover our environment back. To conclude, i would like to say prevention is better than cure. If we conserve nature right now, it will be beneficial to our next generation. Instead of being careless and do nothing about the damage is being done to earth we should take action against it.
Nowadays earth is facing rapid difference in atmosphere.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that we should adopt that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
instead
of take steps against it. I completely disagree with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
statement, and this essay will argue why we should do something to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
variation in climate.

There are uncountable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
on our planet. Although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who can acclimatize themselves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in the temperature,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
numerous persons who cannot do this. Babies can not tolerate instant variation in temperature, and they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
sick of that.
For example
, recent research conducted by University of Alberta
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that due to the abrupt augmentation of sodium in the river caused death of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
marine creatures.

In addition
to this, The mortality rate in wildlife has raised
significantly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of lack of availability of food. Melting icebergs on poles, raising the level of water,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas of land are getting drowned, and due to that, humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
seek another place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. Luckily, if we will be able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, it would not last long.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to fight with each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of inadequate resources. Animals will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
and land for cultivation will be not available. There will be almost no possibility to recover our environment back.

To conclude
,
Did you mean "I"?
i
would like to say prevention is better than cure. If we conserve nature right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, it will be beneficial to our
next
generation.
Instead
of being careless and do nothing about the damage is
being done
to earth we should take action against it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay some people think that instead of preventing climate change. We need to find a way to live with it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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