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Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.6

Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. 6
It is often argued that television could be used utilized as an education tool, while others say that it should only be used as a source of entertainment. Although some channels broadcast show to educate people, I feel that most of the channels are aimed at entertaining people. On the one hand, some people suggest that television is helpful to educate the public. This is because there are some channels which telecast documentaries on different cultures, wild animals and historical places which are unknown to many people. Thus, people enhance their knowledge by sitting at home by watching this kind of programs. For example, in India 34% of people reported that through channels such as Discovery Net, The Animal Planet, they learn about different parts of worlds without visiting there. However, I believe that such educational channels do not provide vast knowledge as other sources such as books, hence, not appropriate to get deeper information. On the other hand, people say that it is only for amusement. Since in today’s time, people are working and they hardly get any quality to spend with family, television allows such time for families to sit together and watch it. That is why people consider it as a tool for recreation and for spending time together after a long tiring day. For instance, a government survey found that 55% of people agreed that they watch T. V for relaxing their mind from the stress of office work. Therefore, I am convinced by the idea of using television for entertainment. In conclusion, I believe that although some channels provide different kinds of information, it is limited and not too deep for expanding knowledge. Hence, television should be used for relaxing and bonding with family.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
utilized as an education tool, while others say that it should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a source of entertainment. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
broadcast
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
to educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I feel that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
are aimed
at entertaining
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
is helpful to educate the public. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
which telecast documentaries on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures, wild animals and historical places which are unknown to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
enhance their knowledge by sitting at home by watching this kind of programs.
For example
, in India 34% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
reported that through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
such as Discovery Net, The Animal Planet, they learn about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of worlds without visiting there.
However
, I believe that such educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
do not provide vast knowledge as other sources such as books,
hence
, not appropriate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
deeper information.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for amusement. Since in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
working and
they hardly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any quality to spend with family,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
such time for families to sit together and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
it.
That is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider it as a tool for recreation and for spending time together after a long tiring day.
For instance
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
survey found that 55% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
T. V for relaxing their mind from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of office work.
Therefore
, I
am convinced
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
for entertainment.

In conclusion
, I believe that although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
channels
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of information, it
is limited
and not too deep for expanding knowledge.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for relaxing and bonding with family.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that television is useful for education, while others say it is useful only for entertainment. 6

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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